Where?

[kellifer]

Snagged this from aliassmith.

Where are the fics where Hawkeye is a total badass at everything EXCEPT THE BEDROOM?? I have been having an insanely busy/crap week and I need awkward boys (and girls because Darcy!!) to soothe my soul.

Comments

[radioaches.livejournal.com]

I'd read it! I mean, he grew up in the circus and then became a secret agent sniper! WHEN DID HE HAVE TIME TO DEVELOP HIS BEDROOM SKILLS?

[bbuttercup.livejournal.com]

He's such a cutie!

Nipples and Ice Cream 1/2

[someidiothasice.livejournal.com]

Word up, girl.



"Hey there, Cupid."

"Oh my god, please don't ever say that again."

"What?"

"Hulk calls me that. You can't expect me to be happy to see you when you're using a pet name I equate with big green."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is my naked body laying on your bed not enough?"

"Why is your naked body laying in my bed? We said we would wait!"

"And we have!"

"That was three days ago! And you-- You!"

"Me... what?"

"You're all naked and in my bed and... naked. Christ, I can see your nipples."

"You had your mouth on them last night!"

"That was through a t-shirt, it didn't count!"

"Are you seriously arguing against us having sex? I knew I should've gone for Tony."

"I'm not against us having sex, just not right away. And Tony is way too old for you. He's too old for me, and I'm still on the fence if I'm too old for you."

"Okay, that's it."

"Where are you going?"

"To see if Thor's bestest buddies are still here. Fandral's a bit of a tool, but he's got a way with the ladies. I'm sure he wouldn't say no to a naked chick in his bed."

"Stop, what are. Where are you even? You cannot have sex with Fandral! He's a douchenozzle! And you're my girlfriend!"

"Not if you wanna keep playing like we're in the third grade. I need a little more than hand-holding in the park and cuddly movie nights that end up leaving me frustrated enough to need to have a go with Armundo."

"Who is Armundo?!"

"My vibrator, chill out. I'm not two-timing you."

"Sorry, weren't you just about to run off and let Prince Dashing have his noble way with you?"

"Are you gay? Did you want me to, I don't know, be your beard or something? Wait, you and Tony aren't--"

"Me and Tony?! Where is this-- Why would you--?"

"Well I don't know! You just made that 'too old for you' crack and you and him are always messing around pulling pranks and stuff. Who knows what else the two of you have been getting up to?"

"I wish brain-bleach was a real thing. I want to wipe this conversation from my mind. The only one who's old enough for Tony is, I don't know, Steve or something, and that's only because Steve is in his ninties."

"Are Tony and Steve...?"

"I don't know! I don't care!"

"Not even about my naked body?"

"Darcy! The sheet!"

*hands*

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

"So, I bought a thing."

Phil stretched an arm over his head and tucked it under his pillow. "A 'thing,' huh? Care to elucidate?"

Clint huffed and flailed his hand a bit, pouting rather adorably at the ceiling. "You know, a thing. A..." He cleared his throat, lips pursed. "Dildo," he added quickly, wincing.

"I see." Phil didn't know whether to be horribly endeared by Clint's blush or horribly turned on knowing he took the time to actually buy a dildo. "Are you saying you want to give it a go?"

"Well, what the hell else would I want to do with it, jesus fucking christ," Clint grumbled, but his blush deepened and he wouldn't meet Phil's eyes.

It made a warmth unfurl in Phil's chest. He raised up onto his elbows, rolled over slowly until he pinned Clint gently to the bed. Seeing as how orgasms had just happened not twenty minutes ago, things weren't going anywhere fast for a while, but Phil could wait. He was an infinitely patient man, after all; it was a prerequisite of being in love with Clint fucking Barton.

"New equipment calls for testing and research, yes?" he whispered against Clint's cheek, kissing him softly.

The awkward tension bled out of him at that, and Clint laughed, sweet and quick. "Yeah, guess so. Wanna take notes with me?"

"As your supervisor, I'd say that's a given," Phil murmured before pushing his mouth against Clint's.

[gottalovev.livejournal.com]

this post is vastly entertaining, I've got to say! lol!

aww, Clint! *pets his pretty head*

[aliassmith.livejournal.com]

EVERY PART OF THIS IS RELEVANT TO MY INTERESTS.