kellifer | "Five People who stole Little Bear..."

Once upon a time I wrote Little Bear, a McShep-ish story about John being turned into a polar bear cub and Rodney looking after him. SGA being the cracky fandom (*loves*) it is, people seemed to enjoy it and it even spawned hysterical fanart.

For

westmin's five things prompt.

Summary - Rodney, asking around, realised he was starting to get a little frantic when one of the marines made a ‘Momma Bear’ joke. He eyed Captain Santes balefully and asked him if he liked all the ‘mod cons’ in his quarters like, you know, oxygen.

~1~

Rodney had only handed off his small charge to Laura Cadman for ten minutes and now he couldn’t find her or the small polar bear colonel in her possession.

Rodney, asking around, realised he was starting to get a little frantic when one of the marines made a ‘Momma Bear’ joke. He eyed Captain Santes balefully and asked him if he liked all the ‘mod cons’ in his quarters like, you know, oxygen.

The last he saw of Santes, the younger man was putting together a bear search detail.

Rodney finally found Laura and therefore John in the botany labs with Katie Brown. Rodney was about to yell when he noticed what Laura and Katie were looking at.

David Parrish was sitting on the floor of the greenhouse with John in his lap, surrounded by potted plants of all descriptions. John had dirt all over his face, turning the once snowy fur a dusky red and most of the plants were either missing large hunks out of them or had been pulled out of their pots all together.

“That’s a very bad Colonel!” David was saying, showing John each of the destroyed plants in turn.

“Do you think he’s going to make the Colonel write lines?” Katie asked, one fine brow arched.

“Might take him a while,” Laura snorted.

~2~

“What did he want a hazmat suit for?” Rodney asked, bemused.

“I don’t know. When Ronon wants something, I tend not to ask,” Carson shrugged.

“Huh,” Rodney sighed, but then froze. “Oh no!”

Rodney had left John sleeping in a box in his room and now when he tore down to have a look, the box was empty. He turned Atlantis practically upside down before he found them in the kitchens, John happily snorfling down a bowl full of fish and Ronon standing a few feet away, decked out in a hazmat suit and still looking a little agitated.

“Oh my god, how many times do I have to tell you that he can’t hurt you?” Rodney demanded, scooping John off the table and pulling a kit-size tube of toothpaste out of his top pocket. He’d found the best way to combat fish breath was to combine John’s love of chewing things with minty freshness. John seized the tube between his front teeth and started gnawing happily. “Why would you come and get him if you’re frightened anyway?”

“It’s best to confront your fears,” Ronon said, tucking his hands into his armpits as much as he could with a couple of layers of heavy duty rubber between him and his skin.

“Is that why you run at the Wraith instead of doing the smart thing and running away?”

“Wraith don’t frighten me,” Ronon growled.

“But this does?” Rodney snorted, holding John aloft, waggling him to illustrate his fuzzy cuteness.

“Fear isn’t always logical.” Rodney thought Ronon might have shrugged but there was really no way to tell.

~3~

The third time in as many days John went missing, Rodney seriously started contemplating tagging him. He was on his way to the infirmary to ask Carson about that very thing when he heard an uncharacteristic giggle coming from the lab he was passing.

Rodney stuck his head in and spotted Zelenka, who was holding John over a table and chuckling like a school boy.

“What are you doing? I thought you didn’t want him in here?” Rodney demanded, stalking into the room and taking John from Zelenka’s arms, getting a wet nudge of nose under his chin as he tucked John under his own arm.

“He’s as good turning on ancient device like this, just much, much quieter,” Zelenka mused.

Rodney slowly lowered John to the table. “You don’t say…”

~4~

When he found out that Teyla had handed John over to Lorne of all people, Rodney was livid. He had visions of finding John with his fur shorn into a Mohawk and dyed camouflage colours in the midst of a group of rambunctious marines who would be trying to fit him into the microwave oven in the kitchen or sticking tape to his feet to see if he had trouble walking like a cat did.

The last thing he expected was to find Lorne in his office, John on his lap chewing on the pen Lorne was trying to write his reports with, Lorne patiently moving the pen out of his reach whenever John got overly keen.

“Oh, I thought…” Rodney began as he hovered in the doorway.

Lorne looked up and blinked. “Oh hey. Teyla had to go to the mainland and asked me to watch him for a while. I can keep him longer if you’re working on something,” Lorne offered.

Rodney opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before finally saying, “Oh yes, that… that would be great.”

Lorne nodded, but then puzzlement crossed his face. “What did you think I was doing with him?” Lorne asked, taking note of the way Rodney was flushed and panting for breath, obviously having run all the way to his office.

“I mean he might be a bear, but he’s still my commanding officer.”

~5~

John did end up getting an impromptu shave, but it wasn’t any of the Atlanteans. A couple of Athosian kids had gotten a hold of him and he’d only lost the fur on one back leg by the time Rodney found them.

“I know,” Rodney sighed, watching as John took a few wobbling steps around his room, not being able to take his eyes off his back leg which was now covered in nothing but black skin. “Want me to shave the other one so you’re even?”

John dropped to his butt and seemed to glare at Rodney, apparently appalled at the idea.

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Date: 2006-09-07 10:20 pm (UTC)

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