Title: See Where Drinking Gets You
By: [livejournal.com profile] kellifer_fic
Fandom: SGA
Rating: PG
Category: Lorne/Novak
Words: 951
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, no money!
Notes: Fic is standalone but part of the Relationship From Scratch Series

Summary: Lorne can't hold his Firewater

Lindsay realised she was humming a Britney Spears song under her breath mainly because someone was singing it loudly from the corridor.

“I played with your hea-ar-ar-art…” The someone bleated, murdering the little tune mercilessly and then Lindsay’s door slid open and Ronon was standing there with the someone over his shoulder.

“I think this is yours,” Ronon huffed, stepping into the room and dropping the body onto Lindsay’s bed.

Lindsay looked to her bed, recognised Lorne despite him being face down because, well, she’d looked at his ass a lot and would recognise it anywhere, and looked back at Ronon. “I’m sorry?”

“He shouldn’t be alone. He was drinking Firewater with the others and he’s going to go from cheerful to puking in about,” Ronon looked at his non-existent watch and then smirked, “Now.”

Just then, the happy but groggy singing cut off and a loud and repulsive sounding belch issued instead. Lorne was up and staggering diagonally from the bed and luckily, in the bathroom’s direction. There was the sound of him hitting his knees, possibly cracking his skull on the lip of the toilet and then an awful hurking that made Lindsay wince.

Ronon clapped his hands. “Have fun,” he said as he turned on his heel and headed back down the corridor.

Lindsay sighed, snapping her laptop shut and going into her kitchen area to retrieve a towel. She wetted it liberally and then went back to the bathroom where the sounds of Lorne turning himself inside out had thankfully ceased.

Lindsay crouched down on her haunches beside Lorne, who had his arms and legs around the Ancient version of a toilet and his forehead resting on the edge. Lindsay dropped the towel onto the back of Lorne’s neck, who groaned pitifully. He reached down to his leg and a second later was holding his gun out to her, butt-first.

“Can you do me a favour and shoot me?” he asked and Lindsay snorted. She took the gun, checked the safety was on like Lorne showed her, and set it down on the basin nearest her head.

“I don’t think it’s such a hot idea to be drinking and armed.”

“I wasn’t drinking. I had one drink, half a cup of the stuff,” Lorne grumbled. He blinked his eyes blearily open and then lifted his head long enough to look around the small bathroom.

“This isn’t my room, is it?” he asked in a small voice, dropping his forehead back where it had been.

“No, it’s mine.”

“This is way too early in this thing we have going for you to see me like this, right?” Lorne asked and Lindsay would have thought he was joking if he didn’t actually sound so genuinely worried.

“Well, you’re lucky. If this had happened yesterday then it would’ve been. Fortunately for you, we just passed the mystical benchmark that means I can see you being sick without finding you unattractive forevermore.”

“Are you being funny?” Lorne asked, managing to lift his head again.

“If you have to ask then obviously not,” Lindsay grimaced, plucking the towel off the back of Lorne’s neck and bringing it round to smooth over his forehead. She then slung it over her shoulder and looped an arm under Lorne’s. “C’mon, you’ll feel better lying down.”

When Lorne was back on her bed, face up this time, Lindsay made to stand up but he captured her wrist and tugged. “Do I smell?”

Lindsay chuckled. “Not too bad, why?”

“I was going to ask you to just lay here with me a minute, but if I stink then you don’t have to.” His voice was still a little on the slurred side, but his gaze was steady and Lindsay felt the little flutter in her chest she always seemed to get when he looked at her straight on.

“Let’s just get you out of your uniform because it does smell and then we’ll see,” Lindsay said, leaning over to unzip his jacket.

“Are you trying to take advantage of me?” Lorne asked with a chuckle and Lindsay grinned as she got him to sit up so she could get his t-shirt off.

“Absolutely,” she said, yanking his undershirt free as well and then moved down to untie his boots when he flopped back with a sigh. She had her hands on his belt when her door slid open again, admitting a giggling Cadman.

“Linds! You have to see this. Someone brought in Firewater and Radek is-“ She stopped dead, her eyes going round as dinner plates when she saw Lorne stretched out on Lindsay’s bed with Lindsay having his undone belt in her hands. “Sorry! I didn’t realise you’d have your hands so full,” Cadman snorted, backing out of the room.

Lindsay looked back at Lorne, whose mouth was open, snoring softly.

“I very carefully cultivate my boring reputation and you are just ruining it,” she sighed, jabbing Lorne in the side with her finger. He snagged her wrist again and then rolled, pulling her over his body so that she ended up on the other side of the bed with one of his legs and one arm curled over her.

He kept on snoring.

Lindsay shifted a little and discovered she was effectively pinned. She would’ve protested normally, but without his clothes Lorne smelled like woodsmoke and apples, his face was buried in her hair and even though he was asleep, his thumb was moving in lazy circles on the bit of exposed skin at her waist between her t-shirt and the pyjama pants she wore to bed.

“Totally ruined,” she sighed, reaching one hand up to trace the fine hairs on Lorne’s forearm, eyes sliding shut.


kellifer: (Default)

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