kellifer | "birds of a"

Title: birds of a
Rating: PG (Language)
Category: Gen
Fandom: SPN
Wordcount: 803 words.
Summary: I blame

deirdre_c.

Dean is holding aloft a large object with a blanket draped over it and looking inordinately pleased, which never bodes well for Sam and his current state of sanity.

"That nice old lady wanted to give us a gift," Dean says, half-shrugging and setting the object aside.

It squawks.

"Dean, what is it?" Sam asks again, trying to inject patience into his tone. He's bed-ridden with a knee that's currently about as useful and functional as a block of wood and Dean looks like he's leaving the room, without the thing.

"Oh, heh, right," Dean says, grinning and scratching at his eyebrow with a thumb. He whips the blanket off and underneath is a large, ornate cage and sitting on a perch inside is a giant, green and red parrot. "This is Boris."

"Dean..." Sam groans, smacking a hand over his face.

"I know we can't keep him, but we're stranded her for a few weeks while you're laid up so I thought I'd give him to the local pet shelter when we were leaving," Dean explains, hands out in a placatory manner that Sam does not trust at all. Dean has always been the one to lay down the no pet rule when their father was no longer around to enforce it and unless there's something in it for Dean-

"Sammy cries when he tugs his junk!" the bird fairly screeches, loud enough for the people in the room on the opposite end to the motel from theirs to hear.

Sam's mouth drops open.

"Oh, and I taught Boris a few phrases on the way over," Dean says and then ducks out the door before the alarm clock Sam launches at him beans him in the head.

>>-808-<<

Sam tries to sleep away his anger and the hours Dean disappears for but according to Boris, Sam also wears lady's panties and enjoys wedgies from three hundred pound truckers just a little too much. Sam finally gives up and hobbles his way over to the desk Boris is set up on.

Dean has left aside crackers and Sam tries to bribe Boris to announce a few choice things about Dean because how hard can it be? Dean seemed to teach Boris an inexhaustible supply of slurs against Sam's nocturnal habits and manhood in a single car trip but Boris just gives him the hairy eyeball and calls into question the size of Sam's penis.

Sam resists the urge to strangle a defenseless bird because the one he wants to strangle isn't currently present.

Dean doesn't answer his phone and after the fifteenth time Sam gives up and sullenly climbs back into bed.

Boris says something about Sam's hair and his resemblance to the BFG but Sam's too tired to listen.

>>-808-<<

Sam isn't sure whether the pizza and Chinese Dean returns to the room with is a peace offering but he accepts his noodles and slice of super meatlovers with as much good grace as he can muster while Boris asks why Sam feels the need to shave his ass.

Dean bites down hard on his lip to try and stop the laughter but Sam can see him losing that particular battle.

"Are you some kind of parrot whisperer or something?" Sam asks, juggling his carton of Chinese around while he tries to find a spot on his bed that won't drive him crazy.

Dean just half-shrugs, a dumpling tucked into his cheek and making him look like a chipmunk saving food for the winter. "I'll take him to the pet store tomorrow if he bugs you," Dean offers.

Sam rolls his eyes. "Why would he possibly bug me?" Sam asks, Boris highlighting Sam's point by shrilling that Sam is asked often by women if it's in yet.

Dean again fights manfully to stop laughing but he turns an alarming shade of purple in his struggle.

"You know what?" Sam snaps. "Do whatever you want."

>>-808-<<

Sam wakes up to something wet and sticky on his cheek.

"What the..." Sam grumbles and then realises it's an overenthusiastic puppy, licking every inch of Sam's face it can reach while Dean holds it over Sam's bed. It makes a little whine of protest when Dean pulls it away and he sighs and deposits it on the side of Sam's bed.

"Don't get excited," Dean warns when Sam scoops the wriggling mass of fur against himself and buries his face into its fur. "The pet store has employees look after the animals over the weekends so the puppy's just a loaner." In response to Sam's questioning look, Dean says, "I convinced My Name Is Tanya that I was trustworthy." Dean waggles his eyebrows and Sam groans but he can't hold onto his disgust when tiny paws scrabble at his chest.

Date: 2009-03-03 02:49 am (UTC)

From:

lark_ascends

no subject

Yes, I'm not sure exactly *how* Dean managed to teach a bird that many phrases in that short an amount of time, but it was hilarious. And, awww, puppy.

Date: 2009-03-12 09:11 pm (UTC)

kellifer-fic.livejournal.com

Hehehee... he has his ways. :D

Date: 2009-03-03 03:17 am (UTC)

charis-kalos.livejournal.com

Dean must be a parrot whisperer. Or have been talking to that bird for days (while Sam was researching?)

Cute, very cute. I hope the two puppies had a good weekend together (and made Dean clean up afterwards).

Date: 2009-03-12 09:12 pm (UTC)

Yes, they definitely would have... hee!

Date: 2009-03-03 11:37 am (UTC)

deirdre-c.livejournal.com

I thought was okay until Sam is asked often by women if it's in yet and then I gave in to the gales of laughter (although the fact that the parrot calls him "Sammy" made me sporfle too).

But then... PUPPY!!! Aww, Dean, you know the shortest route to Sammy heart.

This is so overflowing with WIN. Sam and his over-blown sense of dignity and Dean puncturing it will never not be WINWINWIN!

<333