![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Title: Subordinate Clauses
Rating: G
Category: Supernatural RPF
Pairing/Characters: Jensen/Jared, Chad, Santa
Word Count: 5k
Disclaimer: Written for entertainment purposes only. No money, no sue.
Summary: In which Jensen Ackles loses his job and then apparently his mind because that's the only explanation for finding the son of Santa Claus in his kitchen. Baking.
Notes: Many thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
deirdre_c for basically holding my hand through this entire thing!
On AO3
When Jensen gets into his office, it's to find a tall, devastatingly pretty man with an ugly red, white and green woolen scarf and bobble hat standing by his window that overlooks the park. "Um, hello?"
The guy turns and he looks like the type of person that wears a smile as his default expression, having to exert effort to do anything else. He seems really excited to see Jensen though and waves in a completely dorky and kind of adorable way, smile increasing. "Hello! I have a proposition!"
Jensen groans, because obviously this is a weirdly-themed stripper in celebration of his elevation to partner. Around this time of year, his nickname in the office becomes Scroogsen, so he kind of sees how one of the Senior Associates would think this was funny.
"Okay, go for it," Jensen says, expecting other people to burst into the office and laugh any minute. He sits on the couch that's set on a low table off to the side of his office and makes a get on with it roll of his hands.
"Oh, huh. I was expecting to have to talk you into listening to me," the guys says, looking a little thrown. "At least until after you were fired."
"What?" Jensen says, starting to be less amused.
"No, it's a good thing! Because you'll be free to take up my exciting offer."
"Is this a joke? Are you from the mailroom? I know I never put my stuff in the right outgoing slot but this is taking it a little too far, don't you think?" Jensen demands, rising.
"Oh hey, no, it's fine. Look, how about you go to your meeting to get fired and then I'll talk to you after."
"Stop saying that!" Jensen yells and the guy flinches, his eyes going comically wide.
"It's not a... oh, I guess I can see why you would think it was a bad thing. You probably think you like this job but trust me-"
"I'm calling security," Jensen grits, annoyed that the guy has shuffled sideways enough to be between him and the phone. He's not blocking the door though and Jensen moves that way now, eyes narrowed at the intruder. He does have a meeting in about five minutes, but it's to announce him being made partner. He can call security if he comes back and the guy is still lurking. "If you're here when I get back, I'll make sure they drop you a few times on your head before they punt you from the building," he warns and stalks out of his office.
*
"You're kidding!" Jensen rages when Morgan is done telling how sorry they are that they're going to have to let him go.
"Stevenson is worth millions to this firm. It was either let you go now or risk losing a whole department when he walks," Morgan says.
Jensen silently fumes for a moment, Morgan watching him warily before he explodes with, "And you thought a guy in my office just blurting it out before this meeting was the right way to tell me?"
Morgan gives him a confused frown. "What?"
"There was a guy in my office in an ugly hat that kept telling me I was getting fired. I thought he was joking."
"Jensen, I don't know anything about that," Morgan says. "Do you know who it was? Because I can guarantee you that they'll be out on their ear," he adds, like he's doing Jensen a favor for offering.
"This is unbelievable. What Stevenson wanted was an eyesore. I couldn't do it. You agreed with me."
"The client is always right," Morgan says simply and Jensen can't believe that he thought the guy was a friend as well as a colleague. "Don't make this harder-"
"I can make this as hard as I like, you're firing me!" Jensen yells. He reaches forward and knocks a pen off Morgan's desk.
It's not his finest moment.
Jensen tries to make his exit as dignified as possible, but it's hard to appear aloof and unaffected when being escorted from the building by security. Jensen finds himself in front of his apartment building for the first time in daylight in as long as he can remember clutching a small box with his belongings, at a loss.
Jensen takes the elevator up to his floor, gets out and is assailed in the hallway by a strangely familiar scent that he can't identify out of context. The smell gets only stronger when Jensen pushes through his front door and then Jensen freezes when he finds someone in his kitchen.
It's the guy from his office again, sans bobble hat and scarf but wearing instead a reindeer apron that Jensen got as a gag gift from the last office Christmas party.
"Sorry! Didn't mean to surprise you," the guy says, clutching a wooden spoon and with a smudge of flour across his brow.
"How did you get in here?" Jensen demands.
"It's kind of a hereditary knack," the guy says and suddenly, like a punch to the gut, Jensen recognizes the smell.
It's spiced peanut butter cookies.
"Are you baking?" Jensen asks, startled.
"Yeah, part consolation cookie and part hooray, you're free to take up my exciting opportunity cookie!" the guy enthuses, bending over to peer through the oven's glass door and then check the timer set on Jensen's kitchen counter.
Jensen's mouth goes a little dry and his heart is pounding because his mother made spiced peanut butter cookies, actually made up the recipe and so far as he knew, the recipe had died with her. "I'm calling the police," Jensen says in a tiny voice.
"No, wait! I'm not dangerous, honestly. I'm Jared," the guy, Jared says, holding out a gigantic paw in Jensen's direction.
"You're a B&E conviction is what you are," Jensen corrects him.
"I have a job offer."
"You're a stalker."
"Nooooo! I can prove I'm legitimate."
"Look, even if you're a very extreme head hunter, I really can't deal with this today."
"Just let me-"
"You can take the apron with you," Jensen says. "When you leave."
"But I-"
"I'm circling back to calling the police territory here."
"It's-"
"Where's my phone? Ugh, I can never find it when I need it."
"Would you-"
"Aha!"
"Look!" Jared yells, looks a little surprised at himself. "Just, look," he says again, then does something with his hands that results in a shower of glitter and a very small, surly-looking man with blond spiky hair and curly-toed boots appearing in his kitchen.
"Shitballs," the tiny man says.
"Chad!" Jared gasps, sounding scandalized.
"That's a very neat trick. I'll bet you'll be a hit in Vegas," Jensen says. "Now you can both leave."
"Making a guy appear out of thin air doesn't get me five minutes?" Jared asks, looking tragically bereft.
"I had a friend who liked doing that close-up magic crap. I'm not impressed."
"Hell, piss, fuck!" the small guy yells, gleefully, before chortling.
"Chad! Language!"
"C'mon Jared, I don't get out much. It's heavenly to be off Restriction. Ass!"
"That's a very foul-mouthed little man you have there," Jensen observes, wondering if he's having a breakdown of some sort and is hallucinating this whole thing.
"Elf," Jared says.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Chad's not a man, he's an elf."
"Oh, right, well, that's..." Jensen isn't quite sure what it is, other than completely nuts. "I'm sure this very elaborate prank is amusing the hell out of someone but it isn't me, so if you don't mind?"
"It's not a prank. You haven't heard my offer yet."
"If I listen to you, will you leave?" Jensen asks after a deep sigh.
"Yes! Because you'll be coming with me because my offer is-"
"Very exciting and wonderful. Yeah, I got that part."
"I think we need the right setting for you to really be sold on my offer," Jared says brightly, flicking his chin at Chad who comes at Jensen before he has time to dodge away.
*
"What the fudge?" Jensen groans. His head feels like it's going to split down the middle and he's flat on his back, staring at a ceiling festooned with red and white stripes that hurt his eyes.
"Sorry, elf travel is a bit jarring the first few times," Jared says, appearing in Jensen's sight-line and mercifully blocking out the garish ceiling with his big head. "Here, this helps."
Jensen eyes the piece of chocolate Jared's holding out to him, but figures if he's been hit over the head and dragged somewhere, then things can't get much worse. He takes the candy from Jared's fingers and pops it in his mouth.
Not only is it the most amazing chocolate he's ever tasted, but his headache recedes almost immediately and he's able to sit up without feeling like he's going to puke. Jensen does, grudgingly allow Jared to help when he struggles a little, then when he gets a good look around, Jensen freezes, his mouth unhinging.
He's in what looks like a giant factory, or at least a cartoon version of a factory. Everything's brightly colored and there are little guys of a similar size to Chad zipping around, looking unconcerned by his presence. Chad himself is standing next to Jared, jigging from foot to foot and looking worried.
"Fluffy duck," he says nonsensically.
When Jensen is able to stop gaping, he frowns at Chad in confusion. Jared huffs a laugh and says, "Elves are pretty crass by nature. My dad got sick of it after a shipment of Talk To You dolls went out accidentally swearing like drunken sailors so he put everyone under Restriction."
"Restriction?"
"When you try to swear, it comes out sweet," Chad says. "You try."
Jensen snorts, but then he does and it's the strangest sensation. He knows exactly what he wants to say, but what comes out is, "F-F-F-Fairylights!"
"See?" Chad says, offers a jaunty little salute and scampers away.
"Dad tried a swear jar but it didn't work out."
"Elves use money?" Jensen asks. He's not sure when he started believing that he was dealing with elves here, but he's chosen not to fight it.
"No," Jared says, scratching at the back of his neck and looking sheepish. "It was a giant jar they were zapped into if they swore. By the end of only one day the entire workforce were all in the jar. Production ground to a halt and we had to admit defeat."
"Where are we, exactly?"
"Well, we're kind of in... Santa's Workshop?" Jared says, cringing a little like Jensen is going to freak out at this revelation.
Jensen actually feels like he's going to for a few seconds before he reins it back in. He takes a few deep breaths, hunkered over with hands on his knees, before he stands up straight again, squares his shoulders and says, "So, you said something about a job offer?"
*
"So, the workshop and adjoining living spaces are just badly designed," Jared explains, as he takes Jensen on a tour. "There's hallways that go nowhere, stairs with uneven steps and a bunch of doors that are so small even the elves can't get through. My dad's pretty great at most things, but being practical isn't one of them."
"You keep saying dad? By that you mean...?"
"Oh, right, sorry. Santa," Jared says and Jensen nods slowly.
"Of course," he sighs.
"Anyway, C-Day's only a few weeks away so I thought it would be a good time to get someone like you in, draw up better designs and we could start construction right after so it's in plenty of time for us to be up and running for next year."
"Did... your dad-" Jensen just can't say Santa in a serious conversation, he just can't. "-send you to find me?"
"No, it was my idea. He thinks the place is fine, but he can be a little stubborn and set in his ways."
"I don't ever have to meet him, do I?" Jensen asks, and Jared looks a little confused.
"Why? Don't you want to? Most people want to."
"It's just... me and Christmas kind of parted way a while ago. I'm barely handling the elf thing. I think if I had to come face to face with Santa Claus in person, I might really lose it."
*
Jensen's not really sure why he goes along with it. Yes, without his job he has little in the way of prospects. He could troll the local firms but maybe having an insane working holiday for a few weeks won't be the worst thing that's ever happened to him.
Jared offers to go pack him a bag to save Jensen the headache of the elf travel again. Jensen accepts, and gives Jared a list of essentials that includes his laptop when Jared rolls his eyes at the very idea that they don't have wifi. "I got my dad on the internet years ago. Kids can email their wish lists straight to him now."
"He likes that?"
"He doesn't actually. He'll only look at the snail mail himself, so I manage the electronic letters. The Naughty/Nice list is now an excel spreadsheet that I keep on Google docs. I'm teaching my mom and a few of the elves how to use it because my dad's being stubborn about it."
"I've never really designed a toy factory before, just so you know."
"If you leave out stairs that lead to nothing but a precarious drop off then you're already doing better than my dad," Jared says with a grin.
"Functional and practical?"
"Functional yes. Practical, not so much. We don't really have to obey the normal laws of physics up here so feel free to add a few flourishes."
"Who's going to be building it?" Jensen asks, curious.
"Goblins."
"Aren't goblins evil?" Jensen says, frowning.
"Nah, they've just got a bad rap because they're mostly contractors."
*
Jared clears a small room out to be Jensen's office/living space. Jared offers to get him a separate bedroom but Jensen waves him off, figures finding one room in this haphazard place will be hard enough without trying to bleary his way to a bed when he's half asleep.
He spends /the first few days drawing and having lunch and dinner with Jared while breakfast just appears at his door in the morning before he thinks to ask for a proper tour. Jensen wants to have a look at what of the original building he can salvage, thinking even if they do have an inexhaustible goblin workforce, it's always better to renovate than rebuild if they can get away with it.
Jared's only too happy to guide Jensen around and answer any questions. It's the first real, solid block of time he's been able to spend with Jared other than meals and he finds him easy to talk to and endlessly chipper.
Jensen usually can't stand chipper people, so he's not sure why Jared's brand of endless positivity only seems endearing and not annoying.
"I'm not redoing the stables am I?" Jensen asks when Jared stops by a door that obviously leads outdoors if the large array of coats and scarves he's steadfastly wrapping them both in is any indication.
"No, but... I mean, no tour is complete without seeing the reindeer."
Jensen tries to grab Jared's arm but he can't because Jared has gotten him in to honest-to-god mittens. "Wait, reindeer? As in... Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen? Those reindeer?" he squeaks.
Jared just smiles at him and tugs Jensen out the door. There's only a small amount of space between the workshop and the stables, but the cold is a shock to Jensen, or at least to the small portion of his face that's exposed. He doesn't know why he didn't think it would be quite so cold considering he's at a pole, but he's not really prepared for it.
"Sorry," Jared says when they get inside the stables and the temperature difference makes Jensen gasp. "The whole area is weather-controlled but sometimes Dad will mock up a storm for atmosphere or if the elves are getting on his nerves." He busies himself yanking the extra layers back off Jensen who just stands and lets him, blinking against the heat. He knows the stables are probably the same temperature as the workshop area but after the shock of outside it feels like a furnace.
There's a gently whuff noise from Jensen's left and he looks down into the soft, placid face of a reindeer. "Oh," is all Jensen can think to say, before reaching out a now de-mittened hand. He pulls it back at the last minute, biting his lip, but Jared is smiling at him.
"It's okay, you can pat him."
"Which one is he?" Jensen asks, stroking along the reindeer's nose and then touching a downy ear.
"You do know the song isn't actually accurate, right?" Jared asks and Jensen can't help the disappointed noise he makes. Until he'd come here, he thought he was like pre-ghost Scrooge, with a lump of coal where his Christmas belief used to reside. He's finding, more and more, that under that coal was a tiny ember just waiting for someone to come and breathe a little life into it.
"Oh yeah, of course," Jensen says and Jared is still grinning at him, eyes bright.
"Yeah, there was never a Rudolf. I don't know where that came from, but the rest are right. That's Comet."
Jensen smiles helplessly as the reindeer nudges at his hands, the universal demand for treats. Jared digs some carrots out of a bag hanging from the wall and hands them over and suddenly Jensen is surrounded by questing noses. "Hey now, alright, enough for everyone," Jensen chuckles. He disentangles his coat sleeve from an antler and then blinks at Jared who's staring at him. "What?"
"I just... I hadn't heard you laugh before," Jared says. His cheeks are flushed, eyes bright and he's the most unfairly beautiful thing Jensen has ever seen in his life.
"I...laugh?" Jensen says, but it comes out more as a question and then he's trying to remember the last time he actually did.
He can't.
"Do they fly?" Jensen has to ask, as much out of curiosity as a need to break the tension in the air.
Jared grimaces. "Nah, they never did. It's all the sleigh. Dad just thought it looked weird zooming around by itself."
*
The weeks blur by and Jensen draws up and then scraps dozens of designs. He's never been so blocked before, and he's starting to wonder if designing malls and office buildings beat all the imagination out of him.
He lets Jared distract him. They still eat together, but after breakfast Jared also picks him up for a run around the labyrinthine workshop space. Jensen really needs the exercise considering the amount of gingerbread he's been socking away. Jared will also appear later at night with movies or games or sometimes Chad which is all equally entertaining.
Jensen gets used to elf travel in small bursts, Jared explaining that it will be easier once he has to go home if he builds up a resistance to it. There are small, sheltered elf villages dotting the outskirts of the Claus lands and Jared takes Jensen out to them so he doesn't go stir crazy. One notable night they try out a goblin bar and Jensen still can't exactly remember what happened but he woke up covered in glitter cradling one of Chad's curly-toed boots.
Jensen's having fun.
He knows the respite from his life can't last forever, that at some point he's never going to see the workshop or Jared ever again. He's uncomfortable with how quickly that's become something he's dreading. Jensen's getting insanely used to the cramped workshop kitchen that no one uses but Jared, watching him puttering around and baking, creating treats from Jensen's childhood that he hasn't tasted the likes of in years.
Jensen would be more unsettled by it if Jared hadn't explained that everyone, if they stay long enough, gets a little infected with magic.
Jensen tends to make friends slowly, with lots of false starts and drama. He's got a small cluster of those he trusts which he hasn't added to in years.
Jared seems to have bypassed all his usual bullshit.
*
"Oh, sorry!" Jensen says. He's come to agree with Jared, the place is completely ridiculous with hallways that lead nowhere and doors that even the elves can't fit through. Jensen had gone in search of Jared's room that he swore was down the hall from his office and then second on the right, but the room he's stepped into is definitely not Jared's small, cozy livingroom.
Jensen's starting to suspect that the workshop, on occasion, switches configuration like the staircase in Harry Potter.
"Quite alright," a voice says from behind a large desk and Jensen freezes, suddenly horrified. Santa Claus, slimmed down, but definitely recognizable with a flowy white beard, looks at him a little concerned. "Are you okay, son?"
"Um?" Jensen manages, completely at a loss as to what else to say. He can handle elves, he can handle teleporting but he's not sure he can handle this. "You're... smaller than I would have thought," he finally adds, then immediately wants to punch himself.
Santa snorts. "People only catch sight of me when I'm at my sleigh weight. I have to gorge before I head out because breaking the laws of space and time burns a lot of calories."
"Yeah I can... imagine?" Jensen grimaces and then flails a hand out behind himself. "I'm just gonna..."
"It's nice to see you again Jensen," Claus says, smiling mildly.
"You've ah... you've seen me before?" he squeaks, then at Claus' raised eyebrow, he huffs an embarrassed laugh. "Oh right, it's, I mean I guess you would have seen every kid ever before but you remember everyone?"
"Not usually, but certain kinds of abrupt loss of belief leave an impression," Claus says, gestures at the large seat set in front of his desk. Jensen desperately doesn't want to sit down but he can't think of an excuse not to.
"Yeah well, that was a bad time. I realize now that that kind of thing is outside of your purview despite what Hallmark movies try to tell us," Jensen says, feeling something tighten in his chest.
"I wish I could have helped," Claus offers. "I wish I could've given you-"
"Wow, look at the... I was only on my way to... it doesn't matter. I have a heap of work to do," Jensen says, nearly knocking the chair he'd just perched on over in his haste to get up. Claus has risen to his feet, looks like he wants to say something else, but Jensen retreats before he can.
*
When he gets back to his office, Jensen is at a little bit of a loss. There are no phones, no intercom so he's really not sure how people contact enough other. Jensen lets out a loud sigh and then yells for Chad because he can't think of anything else to do.
"Dude, not cool!" Chad exclaims. He's wearing a towel and has what looks like shampoo in his hair.
"Oh god, sorry!" Jensen says. "I didn't realize it would do... that."
"Yeah well, now you know. This better be important," Chad huffs and Jensen crosses his arms, looks at the bags he's packed pointedly. "Oh hey, are you finished already?"
"No, I just have to... I just have to go," Jensen says. "Can you do that?"
Chad raises an eyebrow. "Where's Jared?"
"I already said goodbye to-"
"Y'know you can't lie to an elf, right?" Chad says and Jensen deflates.
"Alright, so I'm disappearing like a thief in the night. I really don't need your judgement, just your teleportation skills."
"Tough gingerbread cookie," Chad says. "you can't have them, not until you talk to Jared."
"What's it to you?" Jensen asks, annoyed.
"Give me a good reason."
"I just can't... it never ends well when I..." Jensen flails his hands for a second before he slumps. "I'm getting attached."
"Look, he's a bit goofy but I like Jared, he has a good heart. I'm not going to be a party to stomping on it."
"You're a weird little dude."
Chad shrugs. "I've been called worse. C'mon, at least say goodbye."
*
Chad points Jensen toward Jared's room, refusing to accompany him with a smirk, and he's obviously startled Jared because Jared stands in front of a small desk, looking guilty. "Oh, hey."
"What have you got there?" Jensen asks, suspicious and grinning.
"It's nothing really," Jared says, and now he's flushing bright red and Jensen hates how adorable it is because it's going to make his goodbye all the harder. Chad's right, Jared is a nice, sweet guy and Jensen really doesn't deserve his attention or his time. He's not sure why Jared picked him out of all the architects in the world but- "Just, don't be mad," Jared interrupts Jensen's thoughts as he steps aside.
"Oh my god," Jensen breathes, feeling a hot, tight clench in his chest. Set on Jared's desk is something Jensen hasn't seen in years, which he'd almost forgotten existed. It's his very first model, made with extremely careful but infuriatingly childish hands.
It's Santa's workshop, or what Jensen, eight years old, imagined Santa's workshop to be.
"This was in your dad's attic. I didn't mean to intrude but I thought it might help because you seemed to be having trouble."
"This is..." Jensen breathes, then looks up at Jared. "This is a huge invasion."
Jared's face drains of color and the careful expression he'd been wearing drops. "No, Jensen I didn't mean-"
"Yeah, I'm sure," Jensen growls, stalking forward and swiping the model off Jared's table, holding it against his chest. He'd thought his dad had thrown it out. He'd been working on it while his mom was in the hospital, had lugged it to her room to show her and had watched as she'd touched reverential fingers to the small rooms, tiny tables and carefully crafted elves at work.
She'd been gone three days later.
"I'm sorry Jensen," Jared says, looking aghast and desperate and Jensen knows, he knows that Jared didn't mean anything by it, that he probably didn't know the significance of what he was doing. Jensen's been learning that sometimes Jared's social cues are a bit on the muddled side having been raised by figments of the imagination and a bunch of frustrated elves, but he's blinded with anger and doesn't let his rational side talk him down.
"Chad!" Jensen bellows and Chad appears, looking wary. "I'm leaving now. You can bring my stuff later."
"But-"
"Look at my face. Do you really want to argue with me?" Jensen says and Chad swallows hard and shakes his head. He reaches out a hand and Jensen takes it. He thinks he hears Jared call his name again just before there's the lurch of Chad transporting them.
*
Someone cleaned out his fridge and tidied his apartment while he was away.
Jensen allows himself three days to alternate lying on his couch staring at his ceiling with lying on his bed staring at his ceiling before he goes out and gets groceries. His stomach rebelled at living on nothing but delivered pizza the third day and he needs something green.
Jensen's shocked when he checks his bank balance because he's expecting to see the lack of money he had, the punishment for living pay check to pay check and not planning for the future like his dad tried to teach him. There's a deposit from SC Industries in an amount that means that Jensen would never have to work again, possibly a few lines of his descendants either.
Jensen is angry again because he doesn't need guilt money. He doesn't need this much guilt money with no way to return it. Jensen paces his living room with the statement slip from the ATM down the road from his apartment, seething.
"Chad!" he yells, not really expecting anything to happen, kind of feeling stupid for doing it. Nothing does happen for a few moments, and then there's the sound of clinking from his kitchen.
Jensen stalks to his kitchen and finds Chad with his head and most of his torso in the fridge, little elven-boots the only thing showing past the fridge door. "Chad?" Jensen says, surprised.
"'Sup?" Chad says, emerging clutching a beer and Jensen's pizza box from the night before. "Man, I miss booze," he enthuses, popping the cap off the bottle and slugging back half of it, letting out a lusty burp of appreciation. He then slings the pizza box up onto Jensen's kitchen counter, slings himself up after it and tugs it open.
"What are you doing here?"
"You called."
"I didn't think it would work," Jensen says, shaking his head when Chad offers him cold pizza. Chad makes a pleased, more for me face.
"It usually wouldn't. I figured you might though so I left a line open."
"Oh, well, thanks," Jensen says. "Look, I need you to get a message to Jared, take back the ridiculous money he sent me."
"It wasn't him," Chad says, frowning around his mouthful.
"I just figured it was, that he was feeling bad about what happened and went a little... overboard."
"Nah, that was the big S. He's just a little... he wasn't really sure about the proper remuneration so he might have gone a little overboard."
"I can't accept it. I didn't finish the job."
"Sure you did," Chad says.
"No, I didn't," Jensen says slowly.
"The goblins commenced work already."
"What? How?" Jensen demands.
Chad drops the slice of pizza he's working on to dig around in his pockets. He eventually comes up with a large scroll of paper after grumbling for a minute and presents it to Jensen. He takes it, unrolls it slowly and blinks at the plans in front of him. "No, this-" he says, waves a hand at the page. "This was just a rough draft, just something to blow out the cobwebs. I threw this out."
"I don't know why, it was good. Jared thought so too when I gave it to him."
"You gave this to Jared?"
"I told him you'd left it behind for him."
Jensen looks at the plans again. They were full of ridiculous flourishes and plainly unrealistic touches. Jensen had basically been amusing himself and, he realizes now after everything that's happened although he hadn't at the time, that it was basically a grown-up version of that first childish model.
"Fine, whatever. I still need to return most of the money."
"Keep it," Chad says with a shrug. "They wouldn't know what to do with it. That's the thing about eternal beings, man, they lose perspective on the mundane things."
"Eternal?" Jensen says, swallows hard. He hadn't really thought about the Clauses or Jared in those terms and now that he does, his crush on Jared just seems even more pathetic. Jensen was a blink of the eye to Jared, something to forget soon if not already forgotten.
"Yeah, I mean, they didn't think about it when they took in Jared. Now he's getting older and they're a little jammed."
"Wait, what? Getting older? I thought you just said he was eternal?" Jensen says, confused.
"Jared?" Chad huffs. "Nah, Jared's a mortal like you. Boss Claus brought him home because he'd crawled into the gift sack while he was delivering presents to an orphanage. Mrs. Claus took one look at that big, goofy head and wouldn't let the boss take him back. They raised him from when he was tiny but now he's kind of stuck... purposeless."
"I just figured he was going to end up being Santa one day," Jensen says.
"It doesn't work like that. Santa Claus isn't a person, he's a belief, an idea. He's not going to retire."
"Why doesn't Jared leave then?"
"C'mon, you've gotten to know Jared. He's a giver and he doesn't want to disappoint anyone, ever. He feels like he owes the Clauses for raising him. He doesn't think about what he wants." Chad eyes Jensen for a second, something inscrutable on his face. "We were all kind of hoping that he might find something he wanted enough to maybe try being selfish for once... with you."
"He doesn't-"
"Believe me, he does," Chad interrupts before Jensen can even say the words.
*
Jared just stares at Jensen when he appears in Jensen's living room before he shakes himself and jabs a finger into Chad's side, saying, "This is technically kidnapping since you were supposed to be taking me to the Goblin Town Planning Center."
"I didn't think you’d mind the detour," Chad says, dancing away before Jared jab him again.
"I'm sure he minds," Jared says, indicating Jensen with a snap of his chin. Then his attention switches to Jensen and he adds, "I'm really sorry about this. I didn't-"
"I asked him to," Jensen says and Jared stutters to a stop, blinking.
"Oh, ah, um?" He seems to be at a loss as to what else to say.
"I just wanted to say sorry, for overreacting about the model."
"You didn't overreact. I invaded your privacy," Jared says, shaking his head.
"I mean, yeah, you did but you had no idea what that model meant to me and I went off the deep end when you were trying to help."
"In case you haven't noticed, I do the wrong thing like, a lot."
"You do a lot of right things," Jensen says.
"I just mostly take up space, get under people's feet."
"I want you in my space," Jensen says, grimaces at how corny that sounds when said out loud. Jared doesn't seem to mind though, if the tentative smile edging onto his face like the sun over the horizon is any indication.
"I've been thinking I'd like to try maybe seeing how I go in the real world for a little while. I just... I mean I might need..."
"A guide?" Jensen says. "I could do that. I could definitely do that."
“That’s-“ Jared starts to say and this is the exact moment Chad digs an elbow into Jared from behind and he stumbles into Jensen who catches him awkwardly. Jared’s looking surprised, his face kind of blurry this close up and Jensen can’t resist it, he presses a quick, warm kiss to Jared’s mouth. “I could definitely do more of this,” Jared says, his grin huge and bright.
*
Six months later, Jensen is surprised as hell to answer a knock on his door and find Chad, dressed in normal, if small-sized, clothes, standing with his hands dug deep in his pockets. "Hi?"
"Hey, Jensen. Good to see you. Is Jared around?"
"He's at the bakery."
"There's a bakery?"
"I came into some money, needed to invest in something," Jensen says, grinning. He remembers the look on Jared's face when he'd proposed the idea, the outright joy he'd been responsible for. It helped that Jared seemed to have hung on to a little of the North Pole magic and so the bakery became an overnight sensation. Now they regularly had people queuing for hours before they opened to get the chance to purchase treats from their childhood.
"So, um," Chad says and that's when Jensen notices he's holding a duffel bag in garish red and white stripes. "I might need a place to stay?"
Rating: G
Category: Supernatural RPF
Pairing/Characters: Jensen/Jared, Chad, Santa
Word Count: 5k
Disclaimer: Written for entertainment purposes only. No money, no sue.
Summary: In which Jensen Ackles loses his job and then apparently his mind because that's the only explanation for finding the son of Santa Claus in his kitchen. Baking.
Notes: Many thanks to
deirdre_c for basically holding my hand through this entire thing!On AO3
When Jensen gets into his office, it's to find a tall, devastatingly pretty man with an ugly red, white and green woolen scarf and bobble hat standing by his window that overlooks the park. "Um, hello?"
The guy turns and he looks like the type of person that wears a smile as his default expression, having to exert effort to do anything else. He seems really excited to see Jensen though and waves in a completely dorky and kind of adorable way, smile increasing. "Hello! I have a proposition!"
Jensen groans, because obviously this is a weirdly-themed stripper in celebration of his elevation to partner. Around this time of year, his nickname in the office becomes Scroogsen, so he kind of sees how one of the Senior Associates would think this was funny.
"Okay, go for it," Jensen says, expecting other people to burst into the office and laugh any minute. He sits on the couch that's set on a low table off to the side of his office and makes a get on with it roll of his hands.
"Oh, huh. I was expecting to have to talk you into listening to me," the guys says, looking a little thrown. "At least until after you were fired."
"What?" Jensen says, starting to be less amused.
"No, it's a good thing! Because you'll be free to take up my exciting offer."
"Is this a joke? Are you from the mailroom? I know I never put my stuff in the right outgoing slot but this is taking it a little too far, don't you think?" Jensen demands, rising.
"Oh hey, no, it's fine. Look, how about you go to your meeting to get fired and then I'll talk to you after."
"Stop saying that!" Jensen yells and the guy flinches, his eyes going comically wide.
"It's not a... oh, I guess I can see why you would think it was a bad thing. You probably think you like this job but trust me-"
"I'm calling security," Jensen grits, annoyed that the guy has shuffled sideways enough to be between him and the phone. He's not blocking the door though and Jensen moves that way now, eyes narrowed at the intruder. He does have a meeting in about five minutes, but it's to announce him being made partner. He can call security if he comes back and the guy is still lurking. "If you're here when I get back, I'll make sure they drop you a few times on your head before they punt you from the building," he warns and stalks out of his office.
"You're kidding!" Jensen rages when Morgan is done telling how sorry they are that they're going to have to let him go.
"Stevenson is worth millions to this firm. It was either let you go now or risk losing a whole department when he walks," Morgan says.
Jensen silently fumes for a moment, Morgan watching him warily before he explodes with, "And you thought a guy in my office just blurting it out before this meeting was the right way to tell me?"
Morgan gives him a confused frown. "What?"
"There was a guy in my office in an ugly hat that kept telling me I was getting fired. I thought he was joking."
"Jensen, I don't know anything about that," Morgan says. "Do you know who it was? Because I can guarantee you that they'll be out on their ear," he adds, like he's doing Jensen a favor for offering.
"This is unbelievable. What Stevenson wanted was an eyesore. I couldn't do it. You agreed with me."
"The client is always right," Morgan says simply and Jensen can't believe that he thought the guy was a friend as well as a colleague. "Don't make this harder-"
"I can make this as hard as I like, you're firing me!" Jensen yells. He reaches forward and knocks a pen off Morgan's desk.
It's not his finest moment.
Jensen tries to make his exit as dignified as possible, but it's hard to appear aloof and unaffected when being escorted from the building by security. Jensen finds himself in front of his apartment building for the first time in daylight in as long as he can remember clutching a small box with his belongings, at a loss.
Jensen takes the elevator up to his floor, gets out and is assailed in the hallway by a strangely familiar scent that he can't identify out of context. The smell gets only stronger when Jensen pushes through his front door and then Jensen freezes when he finds someone in his kitchen.
It's the guy from his office again, sans bobble hat and scarf but wearing instead a reindeer apron that Jensen got as a gag gift from the last office Christmas party.
"Sorry! Didn't mean to surprise you," the guy says, clutching a wooden spoon and with a smudge of flour across his brow.
"How did you get in here?" Jensen demands.
"It's kind of a hereditary knack," the guy says and suddenly, like a punch to the gut, Jensen recognizes the smell.
It's spiced peanut butter cookies.
"Are you baking?" Jensen asks, startled.
"Yeah, part consolation cookie and part hooray, you're free to take up my exciting opportunity cookie!" the guy enthuses, bending over to peer through the oven's glass door and then check the timer set on Jensen's kitchen counter.
Jensen's mouth goes a little dry and his heart is pounding because his mother made spiced peanut butter cookies, actually made up the recipe and so far as he knew, the recipe had died with her. "I'm calling the police," Jensen says in a tiny voice.
"No, wait! I'm not dangerous, honestly. I'm Jared," the guy, Jared says, holding out a gigantic paw in Jensen's direction.
"You're a B&E conviction is what you are," Jensen corrects him.
"I have a job offer."
"You're a stalker."
"Nooooo! I can prove I'm legitimate."
"Look, even if you're a very extreme head hunter, I really can't deal with this today."
"Just let me-"
"You can take the apron with you," Jensen says. "When you leave."
"But I-"
"I'm circling back to calling the police territory here."
"It's-"
"Where's my phone? Ugh, I can never find it when I need it."
"Would you-"
"Aha!"
"Look!" Jared yells, looks a little surprised at himself. "Just, look," he says again, then does something with his hands that results in a shower of glitter and a very small, surly-looking man with blond spiky hair and curly-toed boots appearing in his kitchen.
"Shitballs," the tiny man says.
"Chad!" Jared gasps, sounding scandalized.
"That's a very neat trick. I'll bet you'll be a hit in Vegas," Jensen says. "Now you can both leave."
"Making a guy appear out of thin air doesn't get me five minutes?" Jared asks, looking tragically bereft.
"I had a friend who liked doing that close-up magic crap. I'm not impressed."
"Hell, piss, fuck!" the small guy yells, gleefully, before chortling.
"Chad! Language!"
"C'mon Jared, I don't get out much. It's heavenly to be off Restriction. Ass!"
"That's a very foul-mouthed little man you have there," Jensen observes, wondering if he's having a breakdown of some sort and is hallucinating this whole thing.
"Elf," Jared says.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Chad's not a man, he's an elf."
"Oh, right, well, that's..." Jensen isn't quite sure what it is, other than completely nuts. "I'm sure this very elaborate prank is amusing the hell out of someone but it isn't me, so if you don't mind?"
"It's not a prank. You haven't heard my offer yet."
"If I listen to you, will you leave?" Jensen asks after a deep sigh.
"Yes! Because you'll be coming with me because my offer is-"
"Very exciting and wonderful. Yeah, I got that part."
"I think we need the right setting for you to really be sold on my offer," Jared says brightly, flicking his chin at Chad who comes at Jensen before he has time to dodge away.
"What the fudge?" Jensen groans. His head feels like it's going to split down the middle and he's flat on his back, staring at a ceiling festooned with red and white stripes that hurt his eyes.
"Sorry, elf travel is a bit jarring the first few times," Jared says, appearing in Jensen's sight-line and mercifully blocking out the garish ceiling with his big head. "Here, this helps."
Jensen eyes the piece of chocolate Jared's holding out to him, but figures if he's been hit over the head and dragged somewhere, then things can't get much worse. He takes the candy from Jared's fingers and pops it in his mouth.
Not only is it the most amazing chocolate he's ever tasted, but his headache recedes almost immediately and he's able to sit up without feeling like he's going to puke. Jensen does, grudgingly allow Jared to help when he struggles a little, then when he gets a good look around, Jensen freezes, his mouth unhinging.
He's in what looks like a giant factory, or at least a cartoon version of a factory. Everything's brightly colored and there are little guys of a similar size to Chad zipping around, looking unconcerned by his presence. Chad himself is standing next to Jared, jigging from foot to foot and looking worried.
"Fluffy duck," he says nonsensically.
When Jensen is able to stop gaping, he frowns at Chad in confusion. Jared huffs a laugh and says, "Elves are pretty crass by nature. My dad got sick of it after a shipment of Talk To You dolls went out accidentally swearing like drunken sailors so he put everyone under Restriction."
"Restriction?"
"When you try to swear, it comes out sweet," Chad says. "You try."
Jensen snorts, but then he does and it's the strangest sensation. He knows exactly what he wants to say, but what comes out is, "F-F-F-Fairylights!"
"See?" Chad says, offers a jaunty little salute and scampers away.
"Dad tried a swear jar but it didn't work out."
"Elves use money?" Jensen asks. He's not sure when he started believing that he was dealing with elves here, but he's chosen not to fight it.
"No," Jared says, scratching at the back of his neck and looking sheepish. "It was a giant jar they were zapped into if they swore. By the end of only one day the entire workforce were all in the jar. Production ground to a halt and we had to admit defeat."
"Where are we, exactly?"
"Well, we're kind of in... Santa's Workshop?" Jared says, cringing a little like Jensen is going to freak out at this revelation.
Jensen actually feels like he's going to for a few seconds before he reins it back in. He takes a few deep breaths, hunkered over with hands on his knees, before he stands up straight again, squares his shoulders and says, "So, you said something about a job offer?"
"So, the workshop and adjoining living spaces are just badly designed," Jared explains, as he takes Jensen on a tour. "There's hallways that go nowhere, stairs with uneven steps and a bunch of doors that are so small even the elves can't get through. My dad's pretty great at most things, but being practical isn't one of them."
"You keep saying dad? By that you mean...?"
"Oh, right, sorry. Santa," Jared says and Jensen nods slowly.
"Of course," he sighs.
"Anyway, C-Day's only a few weeks away so I thought it would be a good time to get someone like you in, draw up better designs and we could start construction right after so it's in plenty of time for us to be up and running for next year."
"Did... your dad-" Jensen just can't say Santa in a serious conversation, he just can't. "-send you to find me?"
"No, it was my idea. He thinks the place is fine, but he can be a little stubborn and set in his ways."
"I don't ever have to meet him, do I?" Jensen asks, and Jared looks a little confused.
"Why? Don't you want to? Most people want to."
"It's just... me and Christmas kind of parted way a while ago. I'm barely handling the elf thing. I think if I had to come face to face with Santa Claus in person, I might really lose it."
Jensen's not really sure why he goes along with it. Yes, without his job he has little in the way of prospects. He could troll the local firms but maybe having an insane working holiday for a few weeks won't be the worst thing that's ever happened to him.
Jared offers to go pack him a bag to save Jensen the headache of the elf travel again. Jensen accepts, and gives Jared a list of essentials that includes his laptop when Jared rolls his eyes at the very idea that they don't have wifi. "I got my dad on the internet years ago. Kids can email their wish lists straight to him now."
"He likes that?"
"He doesn't actually. He'll only look at the snail mail himself, so I manage the electronic letters. The Naughty/Nice list is now an excel spreadsheet that I keep on Google docs. I'm teaching my mom and a few of the elves how to use it because my dad's being stubborn about it."
"I've never really designed a toy factory before, just so you know."
"If you leave out stairs that lead to nothing but a precarious drop off then you're already doing better than my dad," Jared says with a grin.
"Functional and practical?"
"Functional yes. Practical, not so much. We don't really have to obey the normal laws of physics up here so feel free to add a few flourishes."
"Who's going to be building it?" Jensen asks, curious.
"Goblins."
"Aren't goblins evil?" Jensen says, frowning.
"Nah, they've just got a bad rap because they're mostly contractors."
Jared clears a small room out to be Jensen's office/living space. Jared offers to get him a separate bedroom but Jensen waves him off, figures finding one room in this haphazard place will be hard enough without trying to bleary his way to a bed when he's half asleep.
He spends /the first few days drawing and having lunch and dinner with Jared while breakfast just appears at his door in the morning before he thinks to ask for a proper tour. Jensen wants to have a look at what of the original building he can salvage, thinking even if they do have an inexhaustible goblin workforce, it's always better to renovate than rebuild if they can get away with it.
Jared's only too happy to guide Jensen around and answer any questions. It's the first real, solid block of time he's been able to spend with Jared other than meals and he finds him easy to talk to and endlessly chipper.
Jensen usually can't stand chipper people, so he's not sure why Jared's brand of endless positivity only seems endearing and not annoying.
"I'm not redoing the stables am I?" Jensen asks when Jared stops by a door that obviously leads outdoors if the large array of coats and scarves he's steadfastly wrapping them both in is any indication.
"No, but... I mean, no tour is complete without seeing the reindeer."
Jensen tries to grab Jared's arm but he can't because Jared has gotten him in to honest-to-god mittens. "Wait, reindeer? As in... Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen? Those reindeer?" he squeaks.
Jared just smiles at him and tugs Jensen out the door. There's only a small amount of space between the workshop and the stables, but the cold is a shock to Jensen, or at least to the small portion of his face that's exposed. He doesn't know why he didn't think it would be quite so cold considering he's at a pole, but he's not really prepared for it.
"Sorry," Jared says when they get inside the stables and the temperature difference makes Jensen gasp. "The whole area is weather-controlled but sometimes Dad will mock up a storm for atmosphere or if the elves are getting on his nerves." He busies himself yanking the extra layers back off Jensen who just stands and lets him, blinking against the heat. He knows the stables are probably the same temperature as the workshop area but after the shock of outside it feels like a furnace.
There's a gently whuff noise from Jensen's left and he looks down into the soft, placid face of a reindeer. "Oh," is all Jensen can think to say, before reaching out a now de-mittened hand. He pulls it back at the last minute, biting his lip, but Jared is smiling at him.
"It's okay, you can pat him."
"Which one is he?" Jensen asks, stroking along the reindeer's nose and then touching a downy ear.
"You do know the song isn't actually accurate, right?" Jared asks and Jensen can't help the disappointed noise he makes. Until he'd come here, he thought he was like pre-ghost Scrooge, with a lump of coal where his Christmas belief used to reside. He's finding, more and more, that under that coal was a tiny ember just waiting for someone to come and breathe a little life into it.
"Oh yeah, of course," Jensen says and Jared is still grinning at him, eyes bright.
"Yeah, there was never a Rudolf. I don't know where that came from, but the rest are right. That's Comet."
Jensen smiles helplessly as the reindeer nudges at his hands, the universal demand for treats. Jared digs some carrots out of a bag hanging from the wall and hands them over and suddenly Jensen is surrounded by questing noses. "Hey now, alright, enough for everyone," Jensen chuckles. He disentangles his coat sleeve from an antler and then blinks at Jared who's staring at him. "What?"
"I just... I hadn't heard you laugh before," Jared says. His cheeks are flushed, eyes bright and he's the most unfairly beautiful thing Jensen has ever seen in his life.
"I...laugh?" Jensen says, but it comes out more as a question and then he's trying to remember the last time he actually did.
He can't.
"Do they fly?" Jensen has to ask, as much out of curiosity as a need to break the tension in the air.
Jared grimaces. "Nah, they never did. It's all the sleigh. Dad just thought it looked weird zooming around by itself."
The weeks blur by and Jensen draws up and then scraps dozens of designs. He's never been so blocked before, and he's starting to wonder if designing malls and office buildings beat all the imagination out of him.
He lets Jared distract him. They still eat together, but after breakfast Jared also picks him up for a run around the labyrinthine workshop space. Jensen really needs the exercise considering the amount of gingerbread he's been socking away. Jared will also appear later at night with movies or games or sometimes Chad which is all equally entertaining.
Jensen gets used to elf travel in small bursts, Jared explaining that it will be easier once he has to go home if he builds up a resistance to it. There are small, sheltered elf villages dotting the outskirts of the Claus lands and Jared takes Jensen out to them so he doesn't go stir crazy. One notable night they try out a goblin bar and Jensen still can't exactly remember what happened but he woke up covered in glitter cradling one of Chad's curly-toed boots.
Jensen's having fun.
He knows the respite from his life can't last forever, that at some point he's never going to see the workshop or Jared ever again. He's uncomfortable with how quickly that's become something he's dreading. Jensen's getting insanely used to the cramped workshop kitchen that no one uses but Jared, watching him puttering around and baking, creating treats from Jensen's childhood that he hasn't tasted the likes of in years.
Jensen would be more unsettled by it if Jared hadn't explained that everyone, if they stay long enough, gets a little infected with magic.
Jensen tends to make friends slowly, with lots of false starts and drama. He's got a small cluster of those he trusts which he hasn't added to in years.
Jared seems to have bypassed all his usual bullshit.
"Oh, sorry!" Jensen says. He's come to agree with Jared, the place is completely ridiculous with hallways that lead nowhere and doors that even the elves can't fit through. Jensen had gone in search of Jared's room that he swore was down the hall from his office and then second on the right, but the room he's stepped into is definitely not Jared's small, cozy livingroom.
Jensen's starting to suspect that the workshop, on occasion, switches configuration like the staircase in Harry Potter.
"Quite alright," a voice says from behind a large desk and Jensen freezes, suddenly horrified. Santa Claus, slimmed down, but definitely recognizable with a flowy white beard, looks at him a little concerned. "Are you okay, son?"
"Um?" Jensen manages, completely at a loss as to what else to say. He can handle elves, he can handle teleporting but he's not sure he can handle this. "You're... smaller than I would have thought," he finally adds, then immediately wants to punch himself.
Santa snorts. "People only catch sight of me when I'm at my sleigh weight. I have to gorge before I head out because breaking the laws of space and time burns a lot of calories."
"Yeah I can... imagine?" Jensen grimaces and then flails a hand out behind himself. "I'm just gonna..."
"It's nice to see you again Jensen," Claus says, smiling mildly.
"You've ah... you've seen me before?" he squeaks, then at Claus' raised eyebrow, he huffs an embarrassed laugh. "Oh right, it's, I mean I guess you would have seen every kid ever before but you remember everyone?"
"Not usually, but certain kinds of abrupt loss of belief leave an impression," Claus says, gestures at the large seat set in front of his desk. Jensen desperately doesn't want to sit down but he can't think of an excuse not to.
"Yeah well, that was a bad time. I realize now that that kind of thing is outside of your purview despite what Hallmark movies try to tell us," Jensen says, feeling something tighten in his chest.
"I wish I could have helped," Claus offers. "I wish I could've given you-"
"Wow, look at the... I was only on my way to... it doesn't matter. I have a heap of work to do," Jensen says, nearly knocking the chair he'd just perched on over in his haste to get up. Claus has risen to his feet, looks like he wants to say something else, but Jensen retreats before he can.
When he gets back to his office, Jensen is at a little bit of a loss. There are no phones, no intercom so he's really not sure how people contact enough other. Jensen lets out a loud sigh and then yells for Chad because he can't think of anything else to do.
"Dude, not cool!" Chad exclaims. He's wearing a towel and has what looks like shampoo in his hair.
"Oh god, sorry!" Jensen says. "I didn't realize it would do... that."
"Yeah well, now you know. This better be important," Chad huffs and Jensen crosses his arms, looks at the bags he's packed pointedly. "Oh hey, are you finished already?"
"No, I just have to... I just have to go," Jensen says. "Can you do that?"
Chad raises an eyebrow. "Where's Jared?"
"I already said goodbye to-"
"Y'know you can't lie to an elf, right?" Chad says and Jensen deflates.
"Alright, so I'm disappearing like a thief in the night. I really don't need your judgement, just your teleportation skills."
"Tough gingerbread cookie," Chad says. "you can't have them, not until you talk to Jared."
"What's it to you?" Jensen asks, annoyed.
"Give me a good reason."
"I just can't... it never ends well when I..." Jensen flails his hands for a second before he slumps. "I'm getting attached."
"Look, he's a bit goofy but I like Jared, he has a good heart. I'm not going to be a party to stomping on it."
"You're a weird little dude."
Chad shrugs. "I've been called worse. C'mon, at least say goodbye."
Chad points Jensen toward Jared's room, refusing to accompany him with a smirk, and he's obviously startled Jared because Jared stands in front of a small desk, looking guilty. "Oh, hey."
"What have you got there?" Jensen asks, suspicious and grinning.
"It's nothing really," Jared says, and now he's flushing bright red and Jensen hates how adorable it is because it's going to make his goodbye all the harder. Chad's right, Jared is a nice, sweet guy and Jensen really doesn't deserve his attention or his time. He's not sure why Jared picked him out of all the architects in the world but- "Just, don't be mad," Jared interrupts Jensen's thoughts as he steps aside.
"Oh my god," Jensen breathes, feeling a hot, tight clench in his chest. Set on Jared's desk is something Jensen hasn't seen in years, which he'd almost forgotten existed. It's his very first model, made with extremely careful but infuriatingly childish hands.
It's Santa's workshop, or what Jensen, eight years old, imagined Santa's workshop to be.
"This was in your dad's attic. I didn't mean to intrude but I thought it might help because you seemed to be having trouble."
"This is..." Jensen breathes, then looks up at Jared. "This is a huge invasion."
Jared's face drains of color and the careful expression he'd been wearing drops. "No, Jensen I didn't mean-"
"Yeah, I'm sure," Jensen growls, stalking forward and swiping the model off Jared's table, holding it against his chest. He'd thought his dad had thrown it out. He'd been working on it while his mom was in the hospital, had lugged it to her room to show her and had watched as she'd touched reverential fingers to the small rooms, tiny tables and carefully crafted elves at work.
She'd been gone three days later.
"I'm sorry Jensen," Jared says, looking aghast and desperate and Jensen knows, he knows that Jared didn't mean anything by it, that he probably didn't know the significance of what he was doing. Jensen's been learning that sometimes Jared's social cues are a bit on the muddled side having been raised by figments of the imagination and a bunch of frustrated elves, but he's blinded with anger and doesn't let his rational side talk him down.
"Chad!" Jensen bellows and Chad appears, looking wary. "I'm leaving now. You can bring my stuff later."
"But-"
"Look at my face. Do you really want to argue with me?" Jensen says and Chad swallows hard and shakes his head. He reaches out a hand and Jensen takes it. He thinks he hears Jared call his name again just before there's the lurch of Chad transporting them.
Someone cleaned out his fridge and tidied his apartment while he was away.
Jensen allows himself three days to alternate lying on his couch staring at his ceiling with lying on his bed staring at his ceiling before he goes out and gets groceries. His stomach rebelled at living on nothing but delivered pizza the third day and he needs something green.
Jensen's shocked when he checks his bank balance because he's expecting to see the lack of money he had, the punishment for living pay check to pay check and not planning for the future like his dad tried to teach him. There's a deposit from SC Industries in an amount that means that Jensen would never have to work again, possibly a few lines of his descendants either.
Jensen is angry again because he doesn't need guilt money. He doesn't need this much guilt money with no way to return it. Jensen paces his living room with the statement slip from the ATM down the road from his apartment, seething.
"Chad!" he yells, not really expecting anything to happen, kind of feeling stupid for doing it. Nothing does happen for a few moments, and then there's the sound of clinking from his kitchen.
Jensen stalks to his kitchen and finds Chad with his head and most of his torso in the fridge, little elven-boots the only thing showing past the fridge door. "Chad?" Jensen says, surprised.
"'Sup?" Chad says, emerging clutching a beer and Jensen's pizza box from the night before. "Man, I miss booze," he enthuses, popping the cap off the bottle and slugging back half of it, letting out a lusty burp of appreciation. He then slings the pizza box up onto Jensen's kitchen counter, slings himself up after it and tugs it open.
"What are you doing here?"
"You called."
"I didn't think it would work," Jensen says, shaking his head when Chad offers him cold pizza. Chad makes a pleased, more for me face.
"It usually wouldn't. I figured you might though so I left a line open."
"Oh, well, thanks," Jensen says. "Look, I need you to get a message to Jared, take back the ridiculous money he sent me."
"It wasn't him," Chad says, frowning around his mouthful.
"I just figured it was, that he was feeling bad about what happened and went a little... overboard."
"Nah, that was the big S. He's just a little... he wasn't really sure about the proper remuneration so he might have gone a little overboard."
"I can't accept it. I didn't finish the job."
"Sure you did," Chad says.
"No, I didn't," Jensen says slowly.
"The goblins commenced work already."
"What? How?" Jensen demands.
Chad drops the slice of pizza he's working on to dig around in his pockets. He eventually comes up with a large scroll of paper after grumbling for a minute and presents it to Jensen. He takes it, unrolls it slowly and blinks at the plans in front of him. "No, this-" he says, waves a hand at the page. "This was just a rough draft, just something to blow out the cobwebs. I threw this out."
"I don't know why, it was good. Jared thought so too when I gave it to him."
"You gave this to Jared?"
"I told him you'd left it behind for him."
Jensen looks at the plans again. They were full of ridiculous flourishes and plainly unrealistic touches. Jensen had basically been amusing himself and, he realizes now after everything that's happened although he hadn't at the time, that it was basically a grown-up version of that first childish model.
"Fine, whatever. I still need to return most of the money."
"Keep it," Chad says with a shrug. "They wouldn't know what to do with it. That's the thing about eternal beings, man, they lose perspective on the mundane things."
"Eternal?" Jensen says, swallows hard. He hadn't really thought about the Clauses or Jared in those terms and now that he does, his crush on Jared just seems even more pathetic. Jensen was a blink of the eye to Jared, something to forget soon if not already forgotten.
"Yeah, I mean, they didn't think about it when they took in Jared. Now he's getting older and they're a little jammed."
"Wait, what? Getting older? I thought you just said he was eternal?" Jensen says, confused.
"Jared?" Chad huffs. "Nah, Jared's a mortal like you. Boss Claus brought him home because he'd crawled into the gift sack while he was delivering presents to an orphanage. Mrs. Claus took one look at that big, goofy head and wouldn't let the boss take him back. They raised him from when he was tiny but now he's kind of stuck... purposeless."
"I just figured he was going to end up being Santa one day," Jensen says.
"It doesn't work like that. Santa Claus isn't a person, he's a belief, an idea. He's not going to retire."
"Why doesn't Jared leave then?"
"C'mon, you've gotten to know Jared. He's a giver and he doesn't want to disappoint anyone, ever. He feels like he owes the Clauses for raising him. He doesn't think about what he wants." Chad eyes Jensen for a second, something inscrutable on his face. "We were all kind of hoping that he might find something he wanted enough to maybe try being selfish for once... with you."
"He doesn't-"
"Believe me, he does," Chad interrupts before Jensen can even say the words.
Jared just stares at Jensen when he appears in Jensen's living room before he shakes himself and jabs a finger into Chad's side, saying, "This is technically kidnapping since you were supposed to be taking me to the Goblin Town Planning Center."
"I didn't think you’d mind the detour," Chad says, dancing away before Jared jab him again.
"I'm sure he minds," Jared says, indicating Jensen with a snap of his chin. Then his attention switches to Jensen and he adds, "I'm really sorry about this. I didn't-"
"I asked him to," Jensen says and Jared stutters to a stop, blinking.
"Oh, ah, um?" He seems to be at a loss as to what else to say.
"I just wanted to say sorry, for overreacting about the model."
"You didn't overreact. I invaded your privacy," Jared says, shaking his head.
"I mean, yeah, you did but you had no idea what that model meant to me and I went off the deep end when you were trying to help."
"In case you haven't noticed, I do the wrong thing like, a lot."
"You do a lot of right things," Jensen says.
"I just mostly take up space, get under people's feet."
"I want you in my space," Jensen says, grimaces at how corny that sounds when said out loud. Jared doesn't seem to mind though, if the tentative smile edging onto his face like the sun over the horizon is any indication.
"I've been thinking I'd like to try maybe seeing how I go in the real world for a little while. I just... I mean I might need..."
"A guide?" Jensen says. "I could do that. I could definitely do that."
“That’s-“ Jared starts to say and this is the exact moment Chad digs an elbow into Jared from behind and he stumbles into Jensen who catches him awkwardly. Jared’s looking surprised, his face kind of blurry this close up and Jensen can’t resist it, he presses a quick, warm kiss to Jared’s mouth. “I could definitely do more of this,” Jared says, his grin huge and bright.
Six months later, Jensen is surprised as hell to answer a knock on his door and find Chad, dressed in normal, if small-sized, clothes, standing with his hands dug deep in his pockets. "Hi?"
"Hey, Jensen. Good to see you. Is Jared around?"
"He's at the bakery."
"There's a bakery?"
"I came into some money, needed to invest in something," Jensen says, grinning. He remembers the look on Jared's face when he'd proposed the idea, the outright joy he'd been responsible for. It helped that Jared seemed to have hung on to a little of the North Pole magic and so the bakery became an overnight sensation. Now they regularly had people queuing for hours before they opened to get the chance to purchase treats from their childhood.
"So, um," Chad says and that's when Jensen notices he's holding a duffel bag in garish red and white stripes. "I might need a place to stay?"
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Really good! Thanks so much for sharing!!
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Thank you.
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Merry x mas!
xxx
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<3
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This is adorable. You are adorable. I love everything you choose to be. <333
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THANK YOU FOR THE HANDHOLDING !!!!!
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Lol, that one line would be worth reading the whole fic for. As it is, however, there's much more goodness to be had. ;)
I can hardly credit the way you make the dialogue sound so natural, like, "Oh, right, obviously that's the way people would talk in Santa's workshop." It's hysterical, really. And the rest of it is just plain old smile-inducing. Lovely. :D
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Thank you and a belated Merry Christmas!
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