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Title: Tethered
Fandom: SPN
Pairing: Sam/Dean implied
Rating: PG (language)
Word Count: 329
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, no offense, no money.
Notes: A prologue of sorts.
Summary: Dean isn’t sure when protecting Sam became less an onerous duty and more a compulsion.
Dean isn’t sure when protecting Sam became less an onerous duty and more a compulsion.
He’s not sure when it became so important that Sammy be the last thing he sees when he closes his eyes at night and the first thing when he opens them in the morning. There is that faint stutter stop of his heart when he wakes and Sam’s bed is empty, only slowing when he hears the shower or sees Sam elbow his way back into the motel room, juggling styrofoam cups of coffee.
He’s come close to asking Sam not to leave the room when he’s sleeping. Only close because he knows exactly the reaction he’ll get to that suggestion.
He’d heard strange conversations his Father would have at night with Pastor Jim and later with Missouri.
”I should tell him, tell him why he needs to protect.”
Dean’s sure it has something to do with the Strega, with seeing little Sammy almost fucking die because he left him to play video games. He’s called Sam selfish before but he knows selfishness as intimately as a lover.
Selfishness is leaving a tiny little boy by himself because you’re bored.
But it’s more than that, although Dean can’t quite quantify it.
I’myoursyou’remineI’myoursyou’remineI'myoursyou’remineI’myoursyou’remine…
The words ticking through his brain like a metronome. A beat that defines his life.
How can he say that words like, “I don’t want this life, I don’t want us,” gut him to the core, leaving him open and bleeding. He’s not sure how to explain the greasy, sick feeling the entire time Sam was at college and how it wasn’t only their Father that swung by the University to catch a glimpse. The pain in his chest would ease, just a little, with the sight of Sam, like a junkie taking a hit.
He knows such things should worry him.
He should be more concerned that they don’t.
“I just want us to be…”
Together, joined, one…
“A family again.”
Fandom: SPN
Pairing: Sam/Dean implied
Rating: PG (language)
Word Count: 329
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, no offense, no money.
Notes: A prologue of sorts.
Summary: Dean isn’t sure when protecting Sam became less an onerous duty and more a compulsion.
Dean isn’t sure when protecting Sam became less an onerous duty and more a compulsion.
He’s not sure when it became so important that Sammy be the last thing he sees when he closes his eyes at night and the first thing when he opens them in the morning. There is that faint stutter stop of his heart when he wakes and Sam’s bed is empty, only slowing when he hears the shower or sees Sam elbow his way back into the motel room, juggling styrofoam cups of coffee.
He’s come close to asking Sam not to leave the room when he’s sleeping. Only close because he knows exactly the reaction he’ll get to that suggestion.
He’d heard strange conversations his Father would have at night with Pastor Jim and later with Missouri.
”I should tell him, tell him why he needs to protect.”
Dean’s sure it has something to do with the Strega, with seeing little Sammy almost fucking die because he left him to play video games. He’s called Sam selfish before but he knows selfishness as intimately as a lover.
Selfishness is leaving a tiny little boy by himself because you’re bored.
But it’s more than that, although Dean can’t quite quantify it.
I’myoursyou’remineI’myoursyou’remineI'myoursyou’remineI’myoursyou’remine…
The words ticking through his brain like a metronome. A beat that defines his life.
How can he say that words like, “I don’t want this life, I don’t want us,” gut him to the core, leaving him open and bleeding. He’s not sure how to explain the greasy, sick feeling the entire time Sam was at college and how it wasn’t only their Father that swung by the University to catch a glimpse. The pain in his chest would ease, just a little, with the sight of Sam, like a junkie taking a hit.
He knows such things should worry him.
He should be more concerned that they don’t.
“I just want us to be…”
Together, joined, one…
“A family again.”
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