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Title: The Past Always Finds You - Part Ten - Complete
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kellifer_fic
Characters: Team
Rating: PG13
Note: Prologue - the sga_flashfic entry Minor In Action
Spoilers: None.
*Thanks to my beta superfox*
Link to Part One
Summary: Radek and Rodney looked at each other, both opening and closing their mouths. It was Radek that finally put voice to their mutual thought.
“For brilliant men, we are extremely stupid.”
…Then…
Quiet.
His muscles were going to sleep so he shifted just the tiniest bit, not making a sound and he felt an elbow nudge him in the back.
Maintain the high ground
That’s what they’d been taught and he’d always taken it to heart because he was a good soldier-
“Quit moving!” The voice behind him was a harsh whisper and despite their current position, Sheppard grinned in the darkness. His blood sang and his heart thumped loud in his ears.
They were the hunters and not the hunted.
Give no quarter
They had not been shown mercy in all this time, despite injury and the fact that two of their number were children and he was going to enjoy this. For all the death he’d seen, it was time he dealt some of his own. What made this all the more perfect was the back he was pressed against, rammed into the tiny crawlspace above the wide hall below, legs braced, weapons poised.
“You ready?” he asked, his voice low but not a whisper because whispers carried, something he’d picked up somewhere although he was never quite sure where.
He felt the back flush against his own tense and knew it was the only answer he was going to get. He brought his head back and counted down from when he heard the first scrape of furtive boot.
Show no mercy
At exactly the same time, both men shifted their legs and their bodies dropped in a graceful spin and arc, descent arrested by the elastic cord that bound them together. He depressed the trigger of the stubby weapon he held against his shoulder and fire burst forth, spraying the advancing Wraith, who had been stealing into the hall, expecting to slaughter and not be the victims.
He heard the answering fire of his brother as they spun towards the floor and the battle cry that was let loose and couldn’t really tell which one of them was screaming.
It didn’t really matter.
***
The enemy was on their heels, more voracious for their blood than ever and as Sheppard leaned over the DHD, he kept thinking safe… somewhere safe.
His hands hovered for a moment, and then pressed a series of symbols, dredged from the very recesses of his mind, coordinates that he wouldn’t exactly be able to recall later but just equate with his sense of self-preservation.
With safe.
…The not so distant Now…
In all his excitement, Rodney McKay had not counted on one thing.
“No.”
“What do you mean no?”
“I’m sorry, maybe I wasn’t clear. How about, no way in hell.”
Rodney blinked, looking around the room at Carson, Daniel, Elizabeth, Radek and his gaze finally returning to Lorne and John, who was sitting with a stony face and his arms crossed. Lorne’s eyes ticked to John and then back, his expression torn.
“Maybe-“ he began but John slammed his hand on the table.
“I said no!”
“You can’t just say no,” Rodney implored, getting up and waving his hands at the diagrams they had just finished showing the two men, having explained up to a point what had been done to them and what it had meant. Rodney knew it would take some time to absorb, but he hadn’t been expecting John’s abject obstinacy and his refusal to even look at the possibility of regaining what he had once been.
“First of all,” John said, standing also and holding out a finger, ticking off points. “I have every right to say no because what you are proposing is messing with our brains and I happen to be very attached to mine.”
“Like you’d miss it,” Rodney sniped, not being able to help himself.
“Secondly, you’re asking us to take a lot on faith here. You can show me all the fancy pictures you want, but you’re asking us to just trust you on this, when we haven’t been shown all that much trust in return.” John jabbed his second finger in the direction of the now swelled escort of six men just inside the room.
“And third, we don’t know these people you’re talking about. If what you’re saying is true, we were raised since we were five with a very different life and that’s all we know. You can’t expect us to just… let go of it like it’s nothing.”
“We’re not asking that,” Radek broke in. “There may be some way to integrate the two selves, process the information into one cohesive-“
“These lives you’re so fond of are completely fake!” Rodney yelled, his colour rising. “You are Colonel John Sheppard and he is Major Nicholas Lorne and nothing will change that.”
“Look,” Lorne said, rising himself. “I know you miss your friends, but you have to know that this is all a bit much for us to take in at once. Maybe we can have some time to discuss this.” Lorne reached a tentative hand in John’s direction, but he was too far gone in rage to heed his brother’s touch.
“Our lives are not fake! We had a mother and father who loved us, it didn’t matter that they didn’t bear us. I was raised in a small town with airships flying overhead and the smell of Rasha rice on the evening breeze. You can’t dismiss what we had because it doesn’t suit what you want.”
“What I want is my friend back!” Rodney’s fists were balled and his face now entirely red and the six marines arrayed against the wall had all instinctively tensed.
“Your friend is dead!” John screamed.
Rodney moved faster than any of the people in the room could have imagined, spurred by years of guilt and grief, he launched himself at John and bodily lifted him, slamming him against the opposite wall and jamming an arm across his throat.
“Don’t you dare say that! You don’t get to say that!”
There were arms grasping Rodney, trying to pull him off but he held on, watching as John’s face went purple but his eyes blazed still.
“He’s dead,” John’s voice, barely a whisper, was heard across the room as he slid to the floor, the marines having finally successfully pulled Rodney free. John slumped sideways, black washing his vision.
“Dead,” he managed a final time, before sliding into unconsciousness.
***
His eyes cracked open and immediately filled with tears at the bright light. Slowly, slitting his lids, his vision adjusted and he was able to see. He looked down and saw he was once again in an infirmary bed. A small, brown hand was curled around his forearm and when he moved slightly, a pretty, heart-shaped face came into view.
“Welcome back,” Teyla said gently, smiling and lowering into a chair next to the bed.
“Hey,” John croaked and then winced. Teyla smiled in sympathy and reached across his body to a small table, snagging a cup and pulling a sliver of ice free. She offered it and John opened his mouth, accepting it with a grateful groan. The first droplets of icy cold water slipping down his throat were heaven and John moved the ice around his mouth, trying to extricate more. He pulled himself to a sitting position and accepted the cup from Teyla, popping another piece of ice into his mouth when the first had melted.
“I think I… I said something horrible and completely out of line,” he sighed, scrubbing a hand over his forehead.
“It is a stressful time and you have had a lot to deal with. Everyone understands,” Teyla offered.
“Where’s Lorne?” John asked, the instinctive panic surfacing that had set in every time he had lost sight of his brother over the last few years. Teyla merely smiled and tilted her chin towards the other side of the bed. Lorne was on the next bed along, limbs akimbo, mouth open and dead to the world. John smiled fondly. “He could always sleep anywhere.”
“You have been… asleep yourself for some time. Do you wish to tell me what happened?”
“Didn’t you get the story already?”
Teyla inclined her head. “I believe in hearing all sides of a story. For true understanding, you must know every mind.”
“I just… ever since we got here, everyone’s been acting… relieved I guess is the best way to put it, but not about us specifically. It’s like they see us as… I don’t know how to explain it exactly,” John sighed, scooting back down on the bed and rubbing balled fists into his eyes.
“Try,” Teyla prompted.
“Lorne always loved history books. He would devour them as a kid and he would always read me bits he found interesting. He’s the reason I even knew what a Wraith was. Anyway, there was this old ritual our Ancestors used to practice and… it was called a…sacrifice of true bond. Basically, they used to sacrifice people to the Ring of the Ancestors, I guess to the Wraith. People would be chosen by a kind of lottery and if your number was called, that was it. However, someone could go in your place, be sacrificed so you could live.”
“I have not heard of such a thing,” Teyla said, her voice low.
“You’re lucky then. This went on for years, I guess until the Wraith stopped showing up on our doorstep or the shield was developed. Anyway, it just feels like you’re asking us to sacrifice ourselves for your… loved ones. To lose who we are so that they can live.”
Teyla’s brow knotted in concern. “No one would ask for you to lose what you are. From what I understand, there may be able to be a blending-“
“No! Don’t you see? These other men, these other people…” John looked towards Lorne, such raw emotion on his face that it was almost hard to look at. “They were officers in the same military unit but that’s all. I’m scared we’ll…”
“Lose that?” Teyla took John’s hand and squeezed.
“How can I think of him as my brother and know that he’s not at the same time? I just can’t see how… I can’t see how I can keep who I am and who he is as well,” John said, thumping his hands by his sides on the bed and his face twisting in dismay. “I know you miss this Colonel, I do. Just please, don’t ask us to do this.”
John’s gaze flicked past Teyla and lighted on a figure in the doorway. Teyla turned just in time to see Rodney disappear.
***
“Don’t touch that please.” Radek arrested Ronon’s delving hand and moved it back to a safe area of the table. Ronon smirked and reached around with his other arm, retrieving the shiny object he’d been aiming for. Radek threw up his hands and let him have it, not wanting to degenerate into a game of tug of war.
Besides, it was humiliating when Ronon simply held it over his head.
“If the size of brain was directly proportional to physical prowess, you would be in trouble my large friend,” Radek grumbled
“Did you just insult me?” Ronon asked, raising an eyebrow.
Radek looked at him steadily for a beat and then grinned. “You tell me.”
Ronon frowned. “You’re as bad as McKay,” he said and Radek snorted.
“Now who insult who, hmm?”
Rodney stormed into the room, looking pale and grim. “Pack it up,” he snapped, retrieving a box from underneath his lab table and sweeping most of the items on his table one-armed into it.
“Rodney, what has happened?” Radek asked, concerned. He danced out of Rodney’s way when the larger man shouldered past him to retrieve another box and start hauling items from Radek’s workspace into it. With a glare he snatched what Ronon had been playing with out of his hands and deposited it in the box he was holding as well.
“They’re going to Fiora with you to live out the rest of their lives or whatever,” Rodney growled, forcing the box he was holding into Radek’s arms so he could shove some smaller objects into the top.
“Rodney,” Radek repeated, setting the box aside and grabbing Rodney’s shoulders. “What has happened?”
Rodney seemed to deflate, slumping onto a stool by his hip, his hands dropping listlessly into his lap. “He’s right. I was so focused on getting my friends back that I totally didn’t see that I was asking them to give up themselves.”
Radek clucked his tongue, pulling a stool beside Rodney and perching onto it. “As I said, we could maybe integrate the information. I’m sure there would be a way-“
“We don’t need Heightmeyer here to tell you that it just wouldn’t work. They’re completely different people and I didn’t see it. It’d be like asking you to just sit still and accept my overlaying John on top of your personality.”
“Wouldn’t it be worse?” Ronon asked from behind. The two scientists had all but forgotten his presence, but now turned to face him.
“Wouldn’t what be worse?” Rodney asked, exasperated.
“I mean, the big concern was the Wraith capturing them and getting the information they’d gleaned over time. If you load them up with all their old memories, doesn’t that increase the risk? I mean, they’d know where your homeworld is for one.”
Radek and Rodney looked at each other, both opening and closing their mouths. It was Radek that finally put voice to their mutual thought.
“For brilliant men, we are extremely stupid.”
***
Teyla stood in front of the gate with Lorne on one side and John on the other and got such a strong sense of de ja vu, that it almost choked her. She looked sideways and up instead of down though and John offered her a tremulous grin.
“Different galaxy, huh?” he asked and she was reminded that despite everything, he was still painfully young and somehow they had all kept forgetting that. She squeezed John’s shoulder and then turned to the side and accepted a brief hug from Lorne before stepping aside.
Elizabeth stepped forward, smiling tightly. “Despite everything, I’m glad you found us. I’m glad to know you’re safe. You’ll be pleased to know also the others that came through with you are settling in nicely at one of the new Athosian settlements.”
Lorne and John looked at each other and then back at Elizabeth, smiling. “We hear you have a battle station,” Lorne said, cocking an eyebrow.
Elizabeth grinned, nodding. “I do, at that.”
“Think we could see it some day?” John asked, his voice little-boy hopeful.
Elizabeth chuckled. “Let’s see about clearing up this little Wraith problem in this galaxy first and then I’ll see what we can do.” She looked back at Daniel who nodded. She stepped back and away and Carson approached next, setting aside decorum to hug both men tightly.
“You be good and keep in touch,” he said to each.
Ronon stepped forward next, and also hugged both men fiercely, lifting John a little way off his feet and John barked in hopeless laughter. “Here,” Ronon offered, his voice rough and he held out to leather gauntlets, one to each. “It seems no matter what life you find, you are always warriors.” Lorne and John accepted the wrist gauntlets with awed wide eyes.
Rodney was last and he shuffled forward, rolling his eyes. “Sorry about the…” he said, waving a hand around his neck and John smiled.
“Forgotten already. Who taught you that move?”
Rodney flushed a little, staring at his feet. “Just a guy I knew,” he mumbled and John nodded, dropping the subject.
“Alright, we should go,” Radek said, making shooing movements with his arms as best as he could completely laden. Both John and Lorne moved forward to relieve him of some of his boxes and he smiled at them gratefully.
They approached the engaged wormhole.
Hours later, Rodney still stood at the base of the gate in the darkened gate room, watched over only by the gate techs on duty but when a shadow was cast over him, he looked up and back, acknowledging Ronon’s silent presence.
***
“So, I was thinking it was a wee bit creepy to keep people on file like that,” Carson was explaining as he led Rodney up the stairs towards the display room where they had first set eyes on an Ancient, even if it were simply a holographic projection.
“Does this have a point?” Rodney asked, trailing Carson sullenly. He’d been low for the entire three weeks John and Lorne had been gone and all had been concerned for him. Now that Teyla and Elizabeth had left and Carson only had mere days before he also departed, the concern grew. Daniel had even started talking about sending Rodney back to Earth.
“Of course it does. As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” Carson took a moment to look back at Rodney with an admonishing glare. “It was a way to preserve knowledge, especially leading up to the war. Can you imagine someone working on a vital defence against the Wraith and they are killed by a freak accident? I know you’d agree all the research notes in the world would not replace a person’s knowledge of what they were working on.”
“Yes, okay fine, but I have things I should be doing.” They were now in the display room and Carson palmed the control that closed all the doors. He then looked at the controls for a second, frowning before stabbing at a series of buttons.
“Hmm, I hope Radek was right,” he grumbled as he tapped away and Rodney let go of his annoyance as curiosity won free.
“What are you-?” Rodney began but then jerked in surprise as a figure coalesced out of thin air, standing beside the control panel.
“Ah, there we are,” Carson smiled, stepping back.
“Hey guys, what’s up?” John Sheppard asked, looking relaxed and slightly dishevelled but otherwise him, if a bit more transparent than usual.
“This can’t be…” Rodney moved forward, brushing a hand through John’s midsection. John stepped back with a “Hey!” of protest.
“It’s the last imprint of his conscious mind and the Ancient database works in such a way that it’s a learning entity so granted, while still creepy and completely beyond my scientific understanding, it’s also John.”
“Why are you guys talking about me like I’m not here?” John asked, hands on hips.
“You know how you mentioned creepy before?” Rodney snarked out of the side of his mouth.
“Rodney, what’s going on buddy?” John asked, canting his head.
“Ah… hi,” Rodney waved slightly and then reddened, feeling stupid.
“Have a nice chat and I’ll be back in a bit,” Carson said, retreating from the room.
“This is crazy,” Rodney grumbled. “It’s not really you.”
John smiled and Rodney clenched his fists, hating how it made his heart twist. “Yeah, we both know that.”
“But it is, in a way. I guess this was exactly what we were talking about doing but you know, downloading you into a real body…” Rodney’s mind was engaged and racing and he was so caught up that it took John waving his blue-tinted hands in Rodney’s face to get his attention.
“Hey, don’t forget I’m here. Apparently this is a big drain on the city so can’t really be a long-term thing.”
“How do you know that?” Rodney asked, gaping at John.
John shrugged. “I don’t know… I’m on the mainframe so I guess some stuff bleeds through. It’s all connected.”
Rodney stilled, that faraway look on his face that either led to brilliance or disaster firmly in place. John stepped forward slightly. “Rodney, whatever you’re thinking, it’s probably a bad idea,” he warned.
Rodney, grin firmly in place, stepped forward and hooked the laptop he’d been carrying into the console. “What are you doing?” John asked, his tone one of warning.
Rodney tapped keys furiously. “Just giving you a little more room to move. You and Lorne,” he amended, watching code flash past on his screen and his grin growing wider. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner!”
“Rodney, I’m not sure-“
“The Wraith are making a come-back, for all intents and purposes both you and Lorne are gone and our only defence is this city and an ancient battle platform that has seen better days and we still only understand about forty percent of what this city can do. I’m recalling you to active duty, Colonel.”
John took a step back, his image wavering. “Rodney, what-“
“It’s all connected. I’ll be damned if I’ll let them wipe you like an old file. We’re going to fight the Wraith together. It’ll just be a little different.”
“Rodney, are you crazy?” John asked, but there was laughter in his voice.
“For some time, I think so, yes,” Rodney agreed, beaming. “Now Colonel, you and the Major have some work to do. I’m giving you what you always wanted.”
All over the city, lights began to come on, blazing to life in a riot of colour. Every puddlejumper in the bay bucked to life and the whole city thrummed, as if waking from a deep slumber.
“I’m letting you fly.”
Author:
kellifer_ficCharacters: Team
Rating: PG13
Note: Prologue - the sga_flashfic entry Minor In Action
Spoilers: None.
*Thanks to my beta superfox*
Link to Part One
Summary: Radek and Rodney looked at each other, both opening and closing their mouths. It was Radek that finally put voice to their mutual thought.
“For brilliant men, we are extremely stupid.”
Quiet.
His muscles were going to sleep so he shifted just the tiniest bit, not making a sound and he felt an elbow nudge him in the back.
Maintain the high ground
That’s what they’d been taught and he’d always taken it to heart because he was a good soldier-
“Quit moving!” The voice behind him was a harsh whisper and despite their current position, Sheppard grinned in the darkness. His blood sang and his heart thumped loud in his ears.
They were the hunters and not the hunted.
Give no quarter
They had not been shown mercy in all this time, despite injury and the fact that two of their number were children and he was going to enjoy this. For all the death he’d seen, it was time he dealt some of his own. What made this all the more perfect was the back he was pressed against, rammed into the tiny crawlspace above the wide hall below, legs braced, weapons poised.
“You ready?” he asked, his voice low but not a whisper because whispers carried, something he’d picked up somewhere although he was never quite sure where.
He felt the back flush against his own tense and knew it was the only answer he was going to get. He brought his head back and counted down from when he heard the first scrape of furtive boot.
Show no mercy
At exactly the same time, both men shifted their legs and their bodies dropped in a graceful spin and arc, descent arrested by the elastic cord that bound them together. He depressed the trigger of the stubby weapon he held against his shoulder and fire burst forth, spraying the advancing Wraith, who had been stealing into the hall, expecting to slaughter and not be the victims.
He heard the answering fire of his brother as they spun towards the floor and the battle cry that was let loose and couldn’t really tell which one of them was screaming.
It didn’t really matter.
The enemy was on their heels, more voracious for their blood than ever and as Sheppard leaned over the DHD, he kept thinking safe… somewhere safe.
His hands hovered for a moment, and then pressed a series of symbols, dredged from the very recesses of his mind, coordinates that he wouldn’t exactly be able to recall later but just equate with his sense of self-preservation.
With safe.
In all his excitement, Rodney McKay had not counted on one thing.
“No.”
“What do you mean no?”
“I’m sorry, maybe I wasn’t clear. How about, no way in hell.”
Rodney blinked, looking around the room at Carson, Daniel, Elizabeth, Radek and his gaze finally returning to Lorne and John, who was sitting with a stony face and his arms crossed. Lorne’s eyes ticked to John and then back, his expression torn.
“Maybe-“ he began but John slammed his hand on the table.
“I said no!”
“You can’t just say no,” Rodney implored, getting up and waving his hands at the diagrams they had just finished showing the two men, having explained up to a point what had been done to them and what it had meant. Rodney knew it would take some time to absorb, but he hadn’t been expecting John’s abject obstinacy and his refusal to even look at the possibility of regaining what he had once been.
“First of all,” John said, standing also and holding out a finger, ticking off points. “I have every right to say no because what you are proposing is messing with our brains and I happen to be very attached to mine.”
“Like you’d miss it,” Rodney sniped, not being able to help himself.
“Secondly, you’re asking us to take a lot on faith here. You can show me all the fancy pictures you want, but you’re asking us to just trust you on this, when we haven’t been shown all that much trust in return.” John jabbed his second finger in the direction of the now swelled escort of six men just inside the room.
“And third, we don’t know these people you’re talking about. If what you’re saying is true, we were raised since we were five with a very different life and that’s all we know. You can’t expect us to just… let go of it like it’s nothing.”
“We’re not asking that,” Radek broke in. “There may be some way to integrate the two selves, process the information into one cohesive-“
“These lives you’re so fond of are completely fake!” Rodney yelled, his colour rising. “You are Colonel John Sheppard and he is Major Nicholas Lorne and nothing will change that.”
“Look,” Lorne said, rising himself. “I know you miss your friends, but you have to know that this is all a bit much for us to take in at once. Maybe we can have some time to discuss this.” Lorne reached a tentative hand in John’s direction, but he was too far gone in rage to heed his brother’s touch.
“Our lives are not fake! We had a mother and father who loved us, it didn’t matter that they didn’t bear us. I was raised in a small town with airships flying overhead and the smell of Rasha rice on the evening breeze. You can’t dismiss what we had because it doesn’t suit what you want.”
“What I want is my friend back!” Rodney’s fists were balled and his face now entirely red and the six marines arrayed against the wall had all instinctively tensed.
“Your friend is dead!” John screamed.
Rodney moved faster than any of the people in the room could have imagined, spurred by years of guilt and grief, he launched himself at John and bodily lifted him, slamming him against the opposite wall and jamming an arm across his throat.
“Don’t you dare say that! You don’t get to say that!”
There were arms grasping Rodney, trying to pull him off but he held on, watching as John’s face went purple but his eyes blazed still.
“He’s dead,” John’s voice, barely a whisper, was heard across the room as he slid to the floor, the marines having finally successfully pulled Rodney free. John slumped sideways, black washing his vision.
“Dead,” he managed a final time, before sliding into unconsciousness.
His eyes cracked open and immediately filled with tears at the bright light. Slowly, slitting his lids, his vision adjusted and he was able to see. He looked down and saw he was once again in an infirmary bed. A small, brown hand was curled around his forearm and when he moved slightly, a pretty, heart-shaped face came into view.
“Welcome back,” Teyla said gently, smiling and lowering into a chair next to the bed.
“Hey,” John croaked and then winced. Teyla smiled in sympathy and reached across his body to a small table, snagging a cup and pulling a sliver of ice free. She offered it and John opened his mouth, accepting it with a grateful groan. The first droplets of icy cold water slipping down his throat were heaven and John moved the ice around his mouth, trying to extricate more. He pulled himself to a sitting position and accepted the cup from Teyla, popping another piece of ice into his mouth when the first had melted.
“I think I… I said something horrible and completely out of line,” he sighed, scrubbing a hand over his forehead.
“It is a stressful time and you have had a lot to deal with. Everyone understands,” Teyla offered.
“Where’s Lorne?” John asked, the instinctive panic surfacing that had set in every time he had lost sight of his brother over the last few years. Teyla merely smiled and tilted her chin towards the other side of the bed. Lorne was on the next bed along, limbs akimbo, mouth open and dead to the world. John smiled fondly. “He could always sleep anywhere.”
“You have been… asleep yourself for some time. Do you wish to tell me what happened?”
“Didn’t you get the story already?”
Teyla inclined her head. “I believe in hearing all sides of a story. For true understanding, you must know every mind.”
“I just… ever since we got here, everyone’s been acting… relieved I guess is the best way to put it, but not about us specifically. It’s like they see us as… I don’t know how to explain it exactly,” John sighed, scooting back down on the bed and rubbing balled fists into his eyes.
“Try,” Teyla prompted.
“Lorne always loved history books. He would devour them as a kid and he would always read me bits he found interesting. He’s the reason I even knew what a Wraith was. Anyway, there was this old ritual our Ancestors used to practice and… it was called a…sacrifice of true bond. Basically, they used to sacrifice people to the Ring of the Ancestors, I guess to the Wraith. People would be chosen by a kind of lottery and if your number was called, that was it. However, someone could go in your place, be sacrificed so you could live.”
“I have not heard of such a thing,” Teyla said, her voice low.
“You’re lucky then. This went on for years, I guess until the Wraith stopped showing up on our doorstep or the shield was developed. Anyway, it just feels like you’re asking us to sacrifice ourselves for your… loved ones. To lose who we are so that they can live.”
Teyla’s brow knotted in concern. “No one would ask for you to lose what you are. From what I understand, there may be able to be a blending-“
“No! Don’t you see? These other men, these other people…” John looked towards Lorne, such raw emotion on his face that it was almost hard to look at. “They were officers in the same military unit but that’s all. I’m scared we’ll…”
“Lose that?” Teyla took John’s hand and squeezed.
“How can I think of him as my brother and know that he’s not at the same time? I just can’t see how… I can’t see how I can keep who I am and who he is as well,” John said, thumping his hands by his sides on the bed and his face twisting in dismay. “I know you miss this Colonel, I do. Just please, don’t ask us to do this.”
John’s gaze flicked past Teyla and lighted on a figure in the doorway. Teyla turned just in time to see Rodney disappear.
“Don’t touch that please.” Radek arrested Ronon’s delving hand and moved it back to a safe area of the table. Ronon smirked and reached around with his other arm, retrieving the shiny object he’d been aiming for. Radek threw up his hands and let him have it, not wanting to degenerate into a game of tug of war.
Besides, it was humiliating when Ronon simply held it over his head.
“If the size of brain was directly proportional to physical prowess, you would be in trouble my large friend,” Radek grumbled
“Did you just insult me?” Ronon asked, raising an eyebrow.
Radek looked at him steadily for a beat and then grinned. “You tell me.”
Ronon frowned. “You’re as bad as McKay,” he said and Radek snorted.
“Now who insult who, hmm?”
Rodney stormed into the room, looking pale and grim. “Pack it up,” he snapped, retrieving a box from underneath his lab table and sweeping most of the items on his table one-armed into it.
“Rodney, what has happened?” Radek asked, concerned. He danced out of Rodney’s way when the larger man shouldered past him to retrieve another box and start hauling items from Radek’s workspace into it. With a glare he snatched what Ronon had been playing with out of his hands and deposited it in the box he was holding as well.
“They’re going to Fiora with you to live out the rest of their lives or whatever,” Rodney growled, forcing the box he was holding into Radek’s arms so he could shove some smaller objects into the top.
“Rodney,” Radek repeated, setting the box aside and grabbing Rodney’s shoulders. “What has happened?”
Rodney seemed to deflate, slumping onto a stool by his hip, his hands dropping listlessly into his lap. “He’s right. I was so focused on getting my friends back that I totally didn’t see that I was asking them to give up themselves.”
Radek clucked his tongue, pulling a stool beside Rodney and perching onto it. “As I said, we could maybe integrate the information. I’m sure there would be a way-“
“We don’t need Heightmeyer here to tell you that it just wouldn’t work. They’re completely different people and I didn’t see it. It’d be like asking you to just sit still and accept my overlaying John on top of your personality.”
“Wouldn’t it be worse?” Ronon asked from behind. The two scientists had all but forgotten his presence, but now turned to face him.
“Wouldn’t what be worse?” Rodney asked, exasperated.
“I mean, the big concern was the Wraith capturing them and getting the information they’d gleaned over time. If you load them up with all their old memories, doesn’t that increase the risk? I mean, they’d know where your homeworld is for one.”
Radek and Rodney looked at each other, both opening and closing their mouths. It was Radek that finally put voice to their mutual thought.
“For brilliant men, we are extremely stupid.”
Teyla stood in front of the gate with Lorne on one side and John on the other and got such a strong sense of de ja vu, that it almost choked her. She looked sideways and up instead of down though and John offered her a tremulous grin.
“Different galaxy, huh?” he asked and she was reminded that despite everything, he was still painfully young and somehow they had all kept forgetting that. She squeezed John’s shoulder and then turned to the side and accepted a brief hug from Lorne before stepping aside.
Elizabeth stepped forward, smiling tightly. “Despite everything, I’m glad you found us. I’m glad to know you’re safe. You’ll be pleased to know also the others that came through with you are settling in nicely at one of the new Athosian settlements.”
Lorne and John looked at each other and then back at Elizabeth, smiling. “We hear you have a battle station,” Lorne said, cocking an eyebrow.
Elizabeth grinned, nodding. “I do, at that.”
“Think we could see it some day?” John asked, his voice little-boy hopeful.
Elizabeth chuckled. “Let’s see about clearing up this little Wraith problem in this galaxy first and then I’ll see what we can do.” She looked back at Daniel who nodded. She stepped back and away and Carson approached next, setting aside decorum to hug both men tightly.
“You be good and keep in touch,” he said to each.
Ronon stepped forward next, and also hugged both men fiercely, lifting John a little way off his feet and John barked in hopeless laughter. “Here,” Ronon offered, his voice rough and he held out to leather gauntlets, one to each. “It seems no matter what life you find, you are always warriors.” Lorne and John accepted the wrist gauntlets with awed wide eyes.
Rodney was last and he shuffled forward, rolling his eyes. “Sorry about the…” he said, waving a hand around his neck and John smiled.
“Forgotten already. Who taught you that move?”
Rodney flushed a little, staring at his feet. “Just a guy I knew,” he mumbled and John nodded, dropping the subject.
“Alright, we should go,” Radek said, making shooing movements with his arms as best as he could completely laden. Both John and Lorne moved forward to relieve him of some of his boxes and he smiled at them gratefully.
They approached the engaged wormhole.
Hours later, Rodney still stood at the base of the gate in the darkened gate room, watched over only by the gate techs on duty but when a shadow was cast over him, he looked up and back, acknowledging Ronon’s silent presence.
“So, I was thinking it was a wee bit creepy to keep people on file like that,” Carson was explaining as he led Rodney up the stairs towards the display room where they had first set eyes on an Ancient, even if it were simply a holographic projection.
“Does this have a point?” Rodney asked, trailing Carson sullenly. He’d been low for the entire three weeks John and Lorne had been gone and all had been concerned for him. Now that Teyla and Elizabeth had left and Carson only had mere days before he also departed, the concern grew. Daniel had even started talking about sending Rodney back to Earth.
“Of course it does. As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” Carson took a moment to look back at Rodney with an admonishing glare. “It was a way to preserve knowledge, especially leading up to the war. Can you imagine someone working on a vital defence against the Wraith and they are killed by a freak accident? I know you’d agree all the research notes in the world would not replace a person’s knowledge of what they were working on.”
“Yes, okay fine, but I have things I should be doing.” They were now in the display room and Carson palmed the control that closed all the doors. He then looked at the controls for a second, frowning before stabbing at a series of buttons.
“Hmm, I hope Radek was right,” he grumbled as he tapped away and Rodney let go of his annoyance as curiosity won free.
“What are you-?” Rodney began but then jerked in surprise as a figure coalesced out of thin air, standing beside the control panel.
“Ah, there we are,” Carson smiled, stepping back.
“Hey guys, what’s up?” John Sheppard asked, looking relaxed and slightly dishevelled but otherwise him, if a bit more transparent than usual.
“This can’t be…” Rodney moved forward, brushing a hand through John’s midsection. John stepped back with a “Hey!” of protest.
“It’s the last imprint of his conscious mind and the Ancient database works in such a way that it’s a learning entity so granted, while still creepy and completely beyond my scientific understanding, it’s also John.”
“Why are you guys talking about me like I’m not here?” John asked, hands on hips.
“You know how you mentioned creepy before?” Rodney snarked out of the side of his mouth.
“Rodney, what’s going on buddy?” John asked, canting his head.
“Ah… hi,” Rodney waved slightly and then reddened, feeling stupid.
“Have a nice chat and I’ll be back in a bit,” Carson said, retreating from the room.
“This is crazy,” Rodney grumbled. “It’s not really you.”
John smiled and Rodney clenched his fists, hating how it made his heart twist. “Yeah, we both know that.”
“But it is, in a way. I guess this was exactly what we were talking about doing but you know, downloading you into a real body…” Rodney’s mind was engaged and racing and he was so caught up that it took John waving his blue-tinted hands in Rodney’s face to get his attention.
“Hey, don’t forget I’m here. Apparently this is a big drain on the city so can’t really be a long-term thing.”
“How do you know that?” Rodney asked, gaping at John.
John shrugged. “I don’t know… I’m on the mainframe so I guess some stuff bleeds through. It’s all connected.”
Rodney stilled, that faraway look on his face that either led to brilliance or disaster firmly in place. John stepped forward slightly. “Rodney, whatever you’re thinking, it’s probably a bad idea,” he warned.
Rodney, grin firmly in place, stepped forward and hooked the laptop he’d been carrying into the console. “What are you doing?” John asked, his tone one of warning.
Rodney tapped keys furiously. “Just giving you a little more room to move. You and Lorne,” he amended, watching code flash past on his screen and his grin growing wider. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of this sooner!”
“Rodney, I’m not sure-“
“The Wraith are making a come-back, for all intents and purposes both you and Lorne are gone and our only defence is this city and an ancient battle platform that has seen better days and we still only understand about forty percent of what this city can do. I’m recalling you to active duty, Colonel.”
John took a step back, his image wavering. “Rodney, what-“
“It’s all connected. I’ll be damned if I’ll let them wipe you like an old file. We’re going to fight the Wraith together. It’ll just be a little different.”
“Rodney, are you crazy?” John asked, but there was laughter in his voice.
“For some time, I think so, yes,” Rodney agreed, beaming. “Now Colonel, you and the Major have some work to do. I’m giving you what you always wanted.”
All over the city, lights began to come on, blazing to life in a riot of colour. Every puddlejumper in the bay bucked to life and the whole city thrummed, as if waking from a deep slumber.
“I’m letting you fly.”