![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Title: the sound of one ackles getting a clue
Rating/Warning: PG
Wordcount: 2,120
Fandom: RPS AU
By:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kellifer_fic
Category: Jared/Jensen
Disclaimer: Written for entertainment purposes only. No money, no sue.
Summary: The final story in the the worst assassin series - Jared finally proves to be useful.
Jensen wakes when a bar of sunlight settles over his eyes. He’s waiting for the usual speech Petr gives him about languishing the day away but when he manages to pry his lids apart, it’s Jared looming over him, bed curtains gripped in his hands. “No, that’s not creepy at all,” Jensen says through a yawn.
“Sorry,” Jared says, not sounding it at all. “I’ve just never understood how you could stay in bed when the sun’s so high.”
“You’ve been playing with the dogs again,” Jensen observes. Jared’s sweaty and disheveled and has a definite smell about him that indicates what his morning activity has been.
The Ackles hounds are renowned for their viciousness, except when it comes to Jared. In his presence they revert to puppy-hood, lolling tongues and bellies presented for scratching. The Huntmaster continually complains to Jensen about Jared making the dogs soft and Jensen has to agree, has been contemplating getting Jared one of his own so he doesn’t feel compelled to spoil the house dogs quite so much.
“Who else is going to play with me so early?” Jared asks with a grin and sits on the corner of Jensen’s bed, a liberty Jensen ignores like most Jared takes. Jensen allows Jared more and more with each passing day, very aware that his affection is making him weaker still in the eyes of his siblings but unable to stop. He’s just thankful he has Milo to thwart the constant assassination attempts.
Speaking of which. “Milo, are you in here?”
Jared startles a little when the curtains near the fireplace part and Milo appears. Milo has been training Jared, the work doing wonderful things to Jared’s body in Jensen’s humble opinion, but obviously there are some tricks Milo is keeping to himself.
“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” Jensen complains because he’s had this talk with Milo before.
“I can’t exactly protect you from dark agents stealing in through your window if I’m standing outside,” Milo points out.
“Well, Jared’s here now so you can go,” Jensen says and doesn’t miss Milo’s eye roll at the assumption that Jared is useful at protection in any way. Jared misses Milo’s reaction thankfully, looking at the window that he himself stole through with a thoughtful expression.
Milo eventually sketches a little bow and departs. Jensen watches him go through the door and still isn’t sure if he actually leaves. He’s lost count of the number of times he’s ordered Milo out of his room only to have him appear at a moment’s notice from nowhere.
It’s reassuring and discomfiting at the same time and Jensen is very glad that the contract on his life went to Jared and not someone like Milo.
“What do you have on today?” Jared asks, bouncing a little on the bed. Jensen figures that’s his cue to rise and he does, endures Jared following him around the room hopping from foot to foot.
“I’m not sure,” Jensen says over his shoulder. “I’m usually woken by Petr who tells me.”
“Oh,” Jared says, looking crestfallen. “So I probably shouldn’t have locked him in his chamber then?”
“What?” Jensen splutters, right when Petr himself hustles into the room, then blinks in surprise at Jensen upright and functional.
“I’m kidding,” Jared says with a grin and makes himself scarce, or more accurately gets chased from the room by Petr who tuts, muttering words like dilly-dally and lolly-gag.
*
Jensen has always had a head for sums, like keeping the Ackles books himself. They have quite a lot of income from various holdings and investments but Jensen despairs of the amount of money frittered away by hiring people to do away with other people.
If only the Ackles’ weren’t quite so bloodthirsty.
Jensen’s accepted long ago that he is an anomaly in his family, not seeing the appeal of violence. He’s not even that worried that he has a reputation as the weakest link of the family because of it. That means that there are far less attempts on his life than any other Ackles.
He’s cleverer than most of his brothers and sisters, or so he’s told. He smiles at the last few pages of books because there have been numerous transactions with the assassin’s guild and none of them have been to do with killing anyone, but keeping them alive.
It seems everyone has copied his idea of having an assassin for a bodyguard.
The Guildmaster even sent him a gift basket of fruit for doubling the guild’s earnings in the last year alone as a whole new avenue of business has opened up for them.
Jensen doesn’t eat a single piece of it, of course. Milo had looked far too amused when he’d tossed the whole thing out the nearest window.
*
“I have an idea,” Jared says, sliding into the seat opposite Jensen’s in the kitchen. Jensen chooses to take most of his meals in the kitchens because the family dinners tend to get a little too stabby for his tastes.
“Will I like it?”
“It’s more a notion in progress,” Jared amends, leaning across the table and stealing Jensen’s bread. Milo appears at Jensen’s shoulder and drops another roll onto his plate before disappearing again.
“Are you going to elaborate?”
“When it’s finished stewing in my brain,” Jared says and Jensen pulls a face.
“As long as I don’t end up covered in custard again,” Jensen warns with narrowed eyes and Jared grins at him, cheeks stuffed full of bread.
“That was an accident,” he says and then frowns. “This bread tastes funny.”
“Oh lord,” Jensen sighs and calls for the healer, glaring at Milo as Jared goes green and runs for the door. “I thought your job was to stop the attempts on my life. Doesn’t that include poisoned bread rolls?”
“It’s not harmful,” Milo says, looking unruffled. “I tire of him stealing your food considering I have to check everything. He won’t be touching your plate in the future.”
“You did this?” Jensen snaps, torn between running after Jared and throttling Milo.
He’s never really had the urge to do away with anyone before. It’s quite bracing.
“This will be better in the long run,” Milo says.
“Keep something in mind the next time you have such an idea,” Jensen growls, standing and sweeping around the table he’d been set at. Milo blinks, actually looking worried. “Any harm done to him is done to me.”
“Right, sure,” Milo says and retreats into the shadows. Jensen knows he’s still only a few paces away but he can’t see him and that’s about as much Milo can do without abandoning his post completely.
Jensen follows the path of Jared’s retreat.
*
“So, this idea,” Jensen starts when Jared is feeling more himself. To cheer Jared, Jensen has taken him to the kennels to pick a pup he can keep with him. Jared is currently kneeling at the center of a squirming mass of small, furry bodies, lamenting that he must choose.
“I’ve just been thinking,” Jared says, a puppy hooked under each arm and a hopeful expression on his face. Jensen shakes his head, sternly holding up one finger. Jared sighs, puts both puppies down and commences his search anew. “For a family bent on doing away with each other, it’s more than passing strange that you’ve all miraculously survived.”
Jensen opens his mouth, closes it again. He’s about to laugh, refute Jared’s claim but it’s true. Every single Ackles child is still quite well and plotting. Jensen raises an eyebrow at Jared when he reemerges from the pile with what looks like the smallest, ugliest pup. “That just means...” Jensen can’t think of exactly what it means so gives up trying to justify it. “What do you think it means?”
“That I’m still working on,” Jared says, waggling the ugly puppy at Jensen for approval. It looks like a tiny grumpy old man. Jensen sighs and nods because he would expect nothing less of Jared. “I just thought, you know...”
“Passing strange, yes,” Jensen muses, nodding. He grimaces when the pup is passed into his arms. The thing smells atrocious. “Are you sure this is the one.”
“He’s perfect,” Jared nods. “He needs me.”
“He needs a bath,” Jensen says, wondering if maybe a wash will improve the pup’s look.
*
The pup continues to look like a little, grumpy old man but at least he doesn’t smell so bad.
*
“Tabitha?” Jensen says when he opens his bedroom door to the quiet tapping. He had been expecting one of his siblings to come at him directly some day, but he hadn’t been expecting it to be his second youngest sister. "Really?"
Jared appears behind her shoulder and Jensen's shock turns to simple confusion. He watches as Jared prods Tabitha who rolls her eyes. Finally she takes in a large breath and gets out all in a rush, "Idontwannakillyou."
"What?" Jensen asks, unsure he's heard correctly.
Tabitha looks like she's going to say something else, but then her face crumples and she starts crying, big walloping floods of tears. She flings herself into Jensen and he juggles her awkwardly for a few moments before he manages to get his arms around her. "I... don't...wanna...kill...you," she hiccups into his chest.
"I... that's... thanks?" he finally settles on, not quite sure what his response should be to that.
"I mean, you played tea parties with me when I was little and you never told anyone that I still sleep with a fire banked because I'm afraid of the monster under my bed," Tabitha continues, leaning back so she can look up at Jensen with a soggy face. "I don't want to kill you," she presses.
"But it's expected?" Jensen guesses.
"I was the one who hired Jared because I'd heard rumors about how bad he was," Tabitha continues, cranes her neck around to say, "Sorry," to Jared.
"It's fine, I'm aware," Jared offers charitably.
"I thought if I was seen to be giving it a shot then that would be that. I thought someone else would take care of it, but I didn't really want that either."
"Well, we can agree not to kill each other," Jensen says. "It can be our secret."
"I don't think it has to be," Jared interrupts and Tabitha and Jensen just look at him. He shrugs and smiles. "The Ackles family are extremely good at killing people, so why is it they can't manage to kill each other?"
*
Andrew is next and he just sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose and looks downright put out that he has to admit it. "Of course I don't want to kill either of you," he says. "I carried you both around on my shoulders on Festival days when you were smaller."
Reny, only a year behind Jensen, nods stiffly and looks hunted.
Pandora who has the worst reputation doesn't stop sharpening a knife but she does dimple prettily as she says, "If I were actually trying to do you in, you'd be done in by now."
They move through Jensen's siblings and finally at the end of the day, Jensen has to sit down of he'll fall down in astonishment. "How long have you known?" he demands and Jared laughs.
"I think the moment someone hired me," he admits. "Honestly, you must have been suspicious about that."
"I thought maybe someone was just being cheap," Jensen says and then they're both laughing.
"Andrew will draw up an agreement between you all, no Ackles will harm another. It'll be all very official."
"Well, we'd better make you an Ackles as soon as possible then," Jensen says, confused when Jared's smile fades.
"That's very... nice of you to offer," Jared says and Jensen feels a tight lump of discomfort settle in his belly. He was starting to think that Jared returned his affections but apparently he'd been wrong. "I mean, I know my feelings will never be returned by you but I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything."
"Your feelings?" Jensen prods, his dashed hopes taking root once more.
"You were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life," Jared says, flushing deep red. "I was pretty sure I couldn't kill anyone before I even entered your bedroom that night, but I was absolutely certain as soon as I laid eyes on you."
"Well, it's lucky that I have been harboring feelings for you for months now," Jensen says and Jared's face lights up. "I'll need something to do now my time won't be taken up with avoiding attempts on my life."
"I can think of a few things," Jared says, grin wide and infectious.
Rating/Warning: PG
Wordcount: 2,120
Fandom: RPS AU
By:
kellifer_ficCategory: Jared/Jensen
Disclaimer: Written for entertainment purposes only. No money, no sue.
Summary: The final story in the the worst assassin series - Jared finally proves to be useful.
Jensen wakes when a bar of sunlight settles over his eyes. He’s waiting for the usual speech Petr gives him about languishing the day away but when he manages to pry his lids apart, it’s Jared looming over him, bed curtains gripped in his hands. “No, that’s not creepy at all,” Jensen says through a yawn.
“Sorry,” Jared says, not sounding it at all. “I’ve just never understood how you could stay in bed when the sun’s so high.”
“You’ve been playing with the dogs again,” Jensen observes. Jared’s sweaty and disheveled and has a definite smell about him that indicates what his morning activity has been.
The Ackles hounds are renowned for their viciousness, except when it comes to Jared. In his presence they revert to puppy-hood, lolling tongues and bellies presented for scratching. The Huntmaster continually complains to Jensen about Jared making the dogs soft and Jensen has to agree, has been contemplating getting Jared one of his own so he doesn’t feel compelled to spoil the house dogs quite so much.
“Who else is going to play with me so early?” Jared asks with a grin and sits on the corner of Jensen’s bed, a liberty Jensen ignores like most Jared takes. Jensen allows Jared more and more with each passing day, very aware that his affection is making him weaker still in the eyes of his siblings but unable to stop. He’s just thankful he has Milo to thwart the constant assassination attempts.
Speaking of which. “Milo, are you in here?”
Jared startles a little when the curtains near the fireplace part and Milo appears. Milo has been training Jared, the work doing wonderful things to Jared’s body in Jensen’s humble opinion, but obviously there are some tricks Milo is keeping to himself.
“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” Jensen complains because he’s had this talk with Milo before.
“I can’t exactly protect you from dark agents stealing in through your window if I’m standing outside,” Milo points out.
“Well, Jared’s here now so you can go,” Jensen says and doesn’t miss Milo’s eye roll at the assumption that Jared is useful at protection in any way. Jared misses Milo’s reaction thankfully, looking at the window that he himself stole through with a thoughtful expression.
Milo eventually sketches a little bow and departs. Jensen watches him go through the door and still isn’t sure if he actually leaves. He’s lost count of the number of times he’s ordered Milo out of his room only to have him appear at a moment’s notice from nowhere.
It’s reassuring and discomfiting at the same time and Jensen is very glad that the contract on his life went to Jared and not someone like Milo.
“What do you have on today?” Jared asks, bouncing a little on the bed. Jensen figures that’s his cue to rise and he does, endures Jared following him around the room hopping from foot to foot.
“I’m not sure,” Jensen says over his shoulder. “I’m usually woken by Petr who tells me.”
“Oh,” Jared says, looking crestfallen. “So I probably shouldn’t have locked him in his chamber then?”
“What?” Jensen splutters, right when Petr himself hustles into the room, then blinks in surprise at Jensen upright and functional.
“I’m kidding,” Jared says with a grin and makes himself scarce, or more accurately gets chased from the room by Petr who tuts, muttering words like dilly-dally and lolly-gag.
Jensen has always had a head for sums, like keeping the Ackles books himself. They have quite a lot of income from various holdings and investments but Jensen despairs of the amount of money frittered away by hiring people to do away with other people.
If only the Ackles’ weren’t quite so bloodthirsty.
Jensen’s accepted long ago that he is an anomaly in his family, not seeing the appeal of violence. He’s not even that worried that he has a reputation as the weakest link of the family because of it. That means that there are far less attempts on his life than any other Ackles.
He’s cleverer than most of his brothers and sisters, or so he’s told. He smiles at the last few pages of books because there have been numerous transactions with the assassin’s guild and none of them have been to do with killing anyone, but keeping them alive.
It seems everyone has copied his idea of having an assassin for a bodyguard.
The Guildmaster even sent him a gift basket of fruit for doubling the guild’s earnings in the last year alone as a whole new avenue of business has opened up for them.
Jensen doesn’t eat a single piece of it, of course. Milo had looked far too amused when he’d tossed the whole thing out the nearest window.
“I have an idea,” Jared says, sliding into the seat opposite Jensen’s in the kitchen. Jensen chooses to take most of his meals in the kitchens because the family dinners tend to get a little too stabby for his tastes.
“Will I like it?”
“It’s more a notion in progress,” Jared amends, leaning across the table and stealing Jensen’s bread. Milo appears at Jensen’s shoulder and drops another roll onto his plate before disappearing again.
“Are you going to elaborate?”
“When it’s finished stewing in my brain,” Jared says and Jensen pulls a face.
“As long as I don’t end up covered in custard again,” Jensen warns with narrowed eyes and Jared grins at him, cheeks stuffed full of bread.
“That was an accident,” he says and then frowns. “This bread tastes funny.”
“Oh lord,” Jensen sighs and calls for the healer, glaring at Milo as Jared goes green and runs for the door. “I thought your job was to stop the attempts on my life. Doesn’t that include poisoned bread rolls?”
“It’s not harmful,” Milo says, looking unruffled. “I tire of him stealing your food considering I have to check everything. He won’t be touching your plate in the future.”
“You did this?” Jensen snaps, torn between running after Jared and throttling Milo.
He’s never really had the urge to do away with anyone before. It’s quite bracing.
“This will be better in the long run,” Milo says.
“Keep something in mind the next time you have such an idea,” Jensen growls, standing and sweeping around the table he’d been set at. Milo blinks, actually looking worried. “Any harm done to him is done to me.”
“Right, sure,” Milo says and retreats into the shadows. Jensen knows he’s still only a few paces away but he can’t see him and that’s about as much Milo can do without abandoning his post completely.
Jensen follows the path of Jared’s retreat.
“So, this idea,” Jensen starts when Jared is feeling more himself. To cheer Jared, Jensen has taken him to the kennels to pick a pup he can keep with him. Jared is currently kneeling at the center of a squirming mass of small, furry bodies, lamenting that he must choose.
“I’ve just been thinking,” Jared says, a puppy hooked under each arm and a hopeful expression on his face. Jensen shakes his head, sternly holding up one finger. Jared sighs, puts both puppies down and commences his search anew. “For a family bent on doing away with each other, it’s more than passing strange that you’ve all miraculously survived.”
Jensen opens his mouth, closes it again. He’s about to laugh, refute Jared’s claim but it’s true. Every single Ackles child is still quite well and plotting. Jensen raises an eyebrow at Jared when he reemerges from the pile with what looks like the smallest, ugliest pup. “That just means...” Jensen can’t think of exactly what it means so gives up trying to justify it. “What do you think it means?”
“That I’m still working on,” Jared says, waggling the ugly puppy at Jensen for approval. It looks like a tiny grumpy old man. Jensen sighs and nods because he would expect nothing less of Jared. “I just thought, you know...”
“Passing strange, yes,” Jensen muses, nodding. He grimaces when the pup is passed into his arms. The thing smells atrocious. “Are you sure this is the one.”
“He’s perfect,” Jared nods. “He needs me.”
“He needs a bath,” Jensen says, wondering if maybe a wash will improve the pup’s look.
The pup continues to look like a little, grumpy old man but at least he doesn’t smell so bad.
“Tabitha?” Jensen says when he opens his bedroom door to the quiet tapping. He had been expecting one of his siblings to come at him directly some day, but he hadn’t been expecting it to be his second youngest sister. "Really?"
Jared appears behind her shoulder and Jensen's shock turns to simple confusion. He watches as Jared prods Tabitha who rolls her eyes. Finally she takes in a large breath and gets out all in a rush, "Idontwannakillyou."
"What?" Jensen asks, unsure he's heard correctly.
Tabitha looks like she's going to say something else, but then her face crumples and she starts crying, big walloping floods of tears. She flings herself into Jensen and he juggles her awkwardly for a few moments before he manages to get his arms around her. "I... don't...wanna...kill...you," she hiccups into his chest.
"I... that's... thanks?" he finally settles on, not quite sure what his response should be to that.
"I mean, you played tea parties with me when I was little and you never told anyone that I still sleep with a fire banked because I'm afraid of the monster under my bed," Tabitha continues, leaning back so she can look up at Jensen with a soggy face. "I don't want to kill you," she presses.
"But it's expected?" Jensen guesses.
"I was the one who hired Jared because I'd heard rumors about how bad he was," Tabitha continues, cranes her neck around to say, "Sorry," to Jared.
"It's fine, I'm aware," Jared offers charitably.
"I thought if I was seen to be giving it a shot then that would be that. I thought someone else would take care of it, but I didn't really want that either."
"Well, we can agree not to kill each other," Jensen says. "It can be our secret."
"I don't think it has to be," Jared interrupts and Tabitha and Jensen just look at him. He shrugs and smiles. "The Ackles family are extremely good at killing people, so why is it they can't manage to kill each other?"
Andrew is next and he just sighs, pinches the bridge of his nose and looks downright put out that he has to admit it. "Of course I don't want to kill either of you," he says. "I carried you both around on my shoulders on Festival days when you were smaller."
Reny, only a year behind Jensen, nods stiffly and looks hunted.
Pandora who has the worst reputation doesn't stop sharpening a knife but she does dimple prettily as she says, "If I were actually trying to do you in, you'd be done in by now."
They move through Jensen's siblings and finally at the end of the day, Jensen has to sit down of he'll fall down in astonishment. "How long have you known?" he demands and Jared laughs.
"I think the moment someone hired me," he admits. "Honestly, you must have been suspicious about that."
"I thought maybe someone was just being cheap," Jensen says and then they're both laughing.
"Andrew will draw up an agreement between you all, no Ackles will harm another. It'll be all very official."
"Well, we'd better make you an Ackles as soon as possible then," Jensen says, confused when Jared's smile fades.
"That's very... nice of you to offer," Jared says and Jensen feels a tight lump of discomfort settle in his belly. He was starting to think that Jared returned his affections but apparently he'd been wrong. "I mean, I know my feelings will never be returned by you but I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything."
"Your feelings?" Jensen prods, his dashed hopes taking root once more.
"You were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life," Jared says, flushing deep red. "I was pretty sure I couldn't kill anyone before I even entered your bedroom that night, but I was absolutely certain as soon as I laid eyes on you."
"Well, it's lucky that I have been harboring feelings for you for months now," Jensen says and Jared's face lights up. "I'll need something to do now my time won't be taken up with avoiding attempts on my life."
"I can think of a few things," Jared says, grin wide and infectious.