Help me Obie One Kenobi

[kellifer]

So I've completely changed my story for spn_j2_xmas. Considering people are already posting theirs and the dead deadline is the 15th you may think this a little reckless but I just got stuck with what I was writing and the new thing is already 1500 words gone so it's a definite improvement. *big slightly hysterical thumbs up*

No, it'll be fine, really.

Just a couple of things to check with my US friends if you don't mind.

1. Do you guys have bungey cords and are they called bungey cords? You know, the stretchy cords you hold luggage on roofs with and stuff.

2. Banana loungers? Is that right?

3. Do you guys ever refer to bread rolls as buns because there's a double entendre that just won't work otherwise.

4. Cockroaches, roaches or both?

Are you intrigued yet? *eyebrows*

So, here's the story that wasn't working. I may revisit at some point... It's J2. I know, my poor requestor...! The new story isn't this at all.

Jensen's just thinking it's a pretty freaky coincidence that he was only watching a documentary the other day about A World Without People and then finds himself in... well, a world without people.

There are some still around, but just none that he would like to associate with, mostly due to them being dead and still walking around.

He supposes it's fortunate that when the zombie apocalypse that hundreds of writers and thousands of films has romanticised happens, the zombies aren't all that interested in eating the living, but it's still creepy as hell. Some bright spark spray painted Beware The Shamblers on the wall of an apartment building across from the park Jensen had taken to frequenting and he thought it strangely apt.

Jensen whistles long and loud and Lopez, a cat he found snacking on twinkies in a Walmart three states ago, appears as always, twining himself around Jensen's legs. Jensen knows that a cat isn't the most practical pet to have during said zombie apocalypse and keeps expecting Lopez to never come back when he disappears but he always does.

He doesn't even mind so much riding in Jensen's pickup, sitting on the passenger seat with a belt snugged around him like a person. Just gives Jensen a furry eyeball full and puts up with it.

Jensen's glad for the company.

The position he found himself in when the world went to literal hell was two-edged. He had had romantic notions about getting away from it all so had been in a cabin in the most out of the way mountains he could find when people started dying, which he figures is the main reason he didn't end up a Shambler himself.

However.

He's completely and utterly alone and has no idea where his friends or family has gotten to, or even if he wants to know. He hasn't seen one familiar face in amongst the hordes trolling the streets at dusk and when the first fingers of dawn are creeping over the landscape, Shambler magic hour as Jensen has started calling it in his own head, nor does he want to.

He liked to find another living breather but he hasn't found one of those either. He's not even sure why the Shamblers are... shambling. Apparently no one Tivo'd the news reports on the world dying for him which just sucks.

Lopez lets out a mournful sounding meow and puts his paws up on the pickup's dash. Jensen has a look out at what's caught the cat's interest and grimaces. There's a person lying on a bench at what would have been a bus stop and while there's plenty of Shamblers around, there's also plenty of dead people and Jensen knows that at some point he might get used to seeing them, but he hasn't yet.

As he watches though, the figure sits up and he's thinking Shambler when the figure raises one arm and half-waves, then raises the second arm and starts waving more madly, then gets up and jumps up and down in the street. Jensen blinks because he thinks he's finally snapped because he could swear that it's Jared making an idiot of himself in the middle of the road and Jensen Ackles, according to his mama, was always a lucky one, but he was never in his life that lucky.

The Jared look-alike starts running for Jensen's truck and Jensen almost, almost hits reverse and gets the hell out of there, but Lopez chooses that moment to hurl himself out the passenger side window. If Jensen wasn't sure it was Jared before, that combined with the appearance of a dog at Jared's heels makes Jensen flick off his own seatbelt and half-fall, half-jump out of the cab of his truck.

He meets Jared halfway and he's literally picked up off his feet and swung around in a big circle. Jared smacks a big, sloppy kiss right on Jensen's cheek, sloppy because Jared's got his mouth open and laughing.

When he's finally put down, they both just stand at stare at each other for how long Jensen doesn't know.

Finally Jared pushes hair out of his face and narrows his eyes although he can't seem to stop grinning. "You are alive, right?" he asks.

Jensen just rolls his eyes and grabs Jared into another hug, although this time he lifts Jared off his feet and only thinks later about how he probably shouldn't do things like that anymore because there's no more chiropractors in the world.

As far as he knows.

Comments

[faithintheboys.livejournal.com]

We have bungey cords, not sure what a banana lounger is? You mean like a hammock? We refer to them as rolls or buns, I say rolls. And I say cockroaches but I guess you can say both. Hope you don't mind me answering.

[fakymcfakerson.livejournal.com]

1) I've always spelled it "bungee," but we have them.

2) I had to google banana loungers- I've always just called them hammocks.

3) Personally, only in times of great desperation. But it could happen.

4) It goes both ways; I tend to use "cockroaches," because "roach" can refer to marijuana (and "cockroaches" has "cock" in it, so).

[theladyscribe]

Aww man, I'm a bit disappointed you're not continuing Jared, Jensen, and the Zombie Apocalypse. I like it!

Anyway, to answer your questions:

1. Bungee cords, yes.

2. Do you mean a banana hammock? I've never heard of a banana lounger.

3. If you are referring to the type of bread in which you put a hamburger or hotdog, yes, bun works. If you are referring to the type of bread on which you put butter and eat as a side dish to meat and potatoes (dinner roll), then no. Though if you are making an obvious innuendo, you can probably get away with it.

4. Roaches and cockroaches are interchangeable. :)

[live-momma.livejournal.com]

1. Yes. My dad has a huge bag of them in his truck and still pulls over to pick them up off the road.

2. Never heard of it.

3. I think most people reserve "buns" for sliced rolls used for sandwiches, burgers, hotdogs, etc. However, "bun" isn't such a stretch that it couldn't work. Oh, and there are also "sticky buns" which are a type of cinnamon roll.

4. Both. *shudder*

[lomer.livejournal.com]

We have bungey cords. I don't know what a bannana lounger is unless it's a thong for dudes in which case it's a "banana hammock". We have buns! We have cockroaches AND roaches (unfortunately. I HATE those damn things.)

One tiny question after reading your snippit though... what's a shambler? You've used it a few times so I'm guessing it's important, but I've never heard that word before.

I like the snippit though. Good luck!

[deanish-ness.livejournal.com]

I've *heard* them called banana lounges or chairs, but it's not something normal people just use in conversation. It might be used in a catalogue description. I don't think regular people would have a name for them past patio furniture, or maybe deck chairs.

[mutelorelei.livejournal.com]

1. Yep, bungee cords, though most people only use them to tie things on their cars or bikes these days.

2. Definitely not. I would go with 'deck chair' or 'lawn chair' or 'foldaway chair'. Also 'reclining lawn chair' if it's the 3-fold kind, or 'adirondack chair' if it's made of wood slats.

3. Not really, but you can get away with it. :)

4. I've used both terms before, it depends on my mood. So it should work either way. There may be a regional tendency to use one or the other more, but I couldn't say exactly what region uses what more. Kinda like that 'soda' vs 'pop' thing, they both get used in the U.S. pretty evenly but there are definitely regional differences.

[cormallen.livejournal.com]

1. Bungey cords? Yes. I thought they were bungee cords, but I could be wrong.

2. I've never heard them called banana loungers. I'm afraid I use the boring "deck chairs"


3. Sticky buns, hamburger buns, hot dog buns, hot cross buns... yes :)

4. Cockroach = nasty bug thing. Most people I know would assume "roach" refers to marijuana.

[honeynougat.livejournal.com]

I'm Australian, and even though I knew what you meant by bungee cords, I've always called them ocky straps! I hate how lingo differs so much sometimes, even within the same country. It makes it very confusing sometimes =S

[ryu-avalon.livejournal.com]

As for the roach/cockroach thing:
I have always said that cockroaches were the big tree roaches that crack when you squish them and regular roaches are the ones that invade the house most of the time.
If your around people who don't smoke and you say roach they assume the small house roaches more often than not.

[intermezzo]

LOL at the snippet!

English is not my mothertongue so I may be biased about this, but when you say "bun" I think of "hair bun". And this is coming from a fairly good baker *headdesk* There, now I can go crawl under a rock and hide forever!

[tabaqui]

Heeeeeee!
Zombie Apocalypse!
:)

*twirls you*

[(Anonymous)]

This is you SPN secret santa, frantically running by with a quick question. I have two fics I've been working on for you - one Sam/Dean/Ruby powers!end of the world!porn fic and one that would be radically shorter but would include zombies. Which would you prefer to see? I'd like to do them both, but I'm not entirely sure I'll have the time.