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Title: Sekrit Passage of OT3
By: kellifer_fic
Fandom: SG-1
Rating: PG
Category: Sam/Jack/Daniel (pure rumour and innuendo!)
Words: 798
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, no money!
Notes: Dedicated to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
surrealphantast and inspired by this.
“So apparently,” Sam says with no preamble. “We’re doing it.”
Daniel manages to inhale coffee and Jack takes a moment to thump him on the back before saying, “Excuse me?”
Sam is staring down at her jello morosely, stabbing her long dessert spoon into it over and over. “Sam?” Daniel prods, wiping his streaming eyes on his shirtsleeve.
“Apparently,” Sam says and both Jack and Daniel realise that she sounds annoyed. “We’re engaged in hot three-ways whenever we’re alone together.”
Jack can’t help it, he cracks, snorting with laughter and dropping his forehead onto the table in front of him. Both Sam and Daniel take a moment to look at him before they look at each other, realisation dawning on their faces.
“Jack you-”
“Did this!”
They both accuse as Jack puts his arms over his head, still shaking with mirth. Sam thwaps him on the top of the head with her spoon and Daniel digs an elbow into his ribs. Jack jerks sideways and nearly off his chair, only recovering by grabbing Daniel’s arm and righting himself.
“I was joking,” he protests. “I didn’t know anyone would take me seriously.”
“What happened?” Sam demands, not caring that other personnel in the cafeteria are starting to look at them with interest. Her rage ratchets up a notch when she catches a whispered lover’s tiff somewhere from her left.
Jack leans forward and Daniel and Sam do the same. “The cadets were calling me a eunuch,” he says and shrugs, eyes still bright.
“I’m sorry?” Daniel splutters.
“Something about me having Mr Winky removed surgically by the Airforce so I could be more of a hardass,” Jack adds, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest.
“I don’t know what’s more disturbing, that you would tell people you’re sleeping with both me and Sam or that you call your thing Mr Winky,” Daniel says in amazement.
“Sleeping with either of us would get you canned, let alone both of us,” Sam adds.
“I know that,” Jack huffs. “I merely alluded that I was not as hard up as they all believed.”
“And it all somehow ended up with everyone convinced that you were sleeping with us?” Daniel asks, still looking a little mystified.
“I never said that,” Jack defends, holding his hands up in surrender. “People obviously put two and two together, added a one and got three.” He looks at Sam then, still flushed red and grins, canting his head. “Why are you so steamed about it anyway?”
“There are potentially career-ending rumours floating around and you wonder why I’m angry?” Sam snorts, staring hard at the mushed remains of her jello and fidgeting because she can feel both Daniel and Jack’s eyes on her.
“That’s not it at all,” Jack accuses, waggling a finger under her nose that she has the crazy urge to bite. “C’mon Carter, spill it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sam says airily, standing up. Jack leans across the table and snags her wrist, tugging her back into her seat. She notices that people who were only glancing their way are now openly staring. Perfect, she thinks. “I have important things to do, you know,” she snaps.
“You know if you don’t get this out now, you’re just going to make some poor defenceless geek cry later, so you might as well tell us what’s bugging you,” Jack urges and Sam takes a moment to glare at him, wishing she could set him on fire with her thoughts but he just sits and smiles at her, looking at ease.
“Okay, my rumoured sex life is much better than my real one. Are you happy?” Sam grates, watching as Daniel just blinks at her and Jack’s lip wobbles, fighting a smirk she knows wants to burst forth.
“Well, you know we could…” Jack trails off, making a gesture with his hands that Sam is not sure she wants to know the meaning of. She’s also starting to think that maybe Daniel’s eyes are going to fall right out of his head with all the staring he’s doing. “Have a movie night,” Jack finishes gamely, brightening.
“How is that going to help?” Sam asks, throwing up her hands.
“Well, we could really drunk and maybe-”
“Lalalala…not listening!” Daniel interrupts, clamping his hands over his ears.
“I was going to say, play poker,” Jack grunts. He then raises an eyebrow at Daniel and says, “What did you think I was going to say?”
“Look, maybe we could just explain to people that it’s not true,” Daniel evades, looking from Sam to Jack.
“Ooh,” Sam sighs dramatically. “I never thought of denying it. Of course, that fixes all our problems.”
“You’re grouchy when you’re not getting any,” Daniel snarks and Sam’s mouth falls open.
By: kellifer_fic
Fandom: SG-1
Rating: PG
Category: Sam/Jack/Daniel (pure rumour and innuendo!)
Words: 798
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, no money!
Notes: Dedicated to
surrealphantast and inspired by this.“So apparently,” Sam says with no preamble. “We’re doing it.”
Daniel manages to inhale coffee and Jack takes a moment to thump him on the back before saying, “Excuse me?”
Sam is staring down at her jello morosely, stabbing her long dessert spoon into it over and over. “Sam?” Daniel prods, wiping his streaming eyes on his shirtsleeve.
“Apparently,” Sam says and both Jack and Daniel realise that she sounds annoyed. “We’re engaged in hot three-ways whenever we’re alone together.”
Jack can’t help it, he cracks, snorting with laughter and dropping his forehead onto the table in front of him. Both Sam and Daniel take a moment to look at him before they look at each other, realisation dawning on their faces.
“Jack you-”
“Did this!”
They both accuse as Jack puts his arms over his head, still shaking with mirth. Sam thwaps him on the top of the head with her spoon and Daniel digs an elbow into his ribs. Jack jerks sideways and nearly off his chair, only recovering by grabbing Daniel’s arm and righting himself.
“I was joking,” he protests. “I didn’t know anyone would take me seriously.”
“What happened?” Sam demands, not caring that other personnel in the cafeteria are starting to look at them with interest. Her rage ratchets up a notch when she catches a whispered lover’s tiff somewhere from her left.
Jack leans forward and Daniel and Sam do the same. “The cadets were calling me a eunuch,” he says and shrugs, eyes still bright.
“I’m sorry?” Daniel splutters.
“Something about me having Mr Winky removed surgically by the Airforce so I could be more of a hardass,” Jack adds, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest.
“I don’t know what’s more disturbing, that you would tell people you’re sleeping with both me and Sam or that you call your thing Mr Winky,” Daniel says in amazement.
“Sleeping with either of us would get you canned, let alone both of us,” Sam adds.
“I know that,” Jack huffs. “I merely alluded that I was not as hard up as they all believed.”
“And it all somehow ended up with everyone convinced that you were sleeping with us?” Daniel asks, still looking a little mystified.
“I never said that,” Jack defends, holding his hands up in surrender. “People obviously put two and two together, added a one and got three.” He looks at Sam then, still flushed red and grins, canting his head. “Why are you so steamed about it anyway?”
“There are potentially career-ending rumours floating around and you wonder why I’m angry?” Sam snorts, staring hard at the mushed remains of her jello and fidgeting because she can feel both Daniel and Jack’s eyes on her.
“That’s not it at all,” Jack accuses, waggling a finger under her nose that she has the crazy urge to bite. “C’mon Carter, spill it.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sam says airily, standing up. Jack leans across the table and snags her wrist, tugging her back into her seat. She notices that people who were only glancing their way are now openly staring. Perfect, she thinks. “I have important things to do, you know,” she snaps.
“You know if you don’t get this out now, you’re just going to make some poor defenceless geek cry later, so you might as well tell us what’s bugging you,” Jack urges and Sam takes a moment to glare at him, wishing she could set him on fire with her thoughts but he just sits and smiles at her, looking at ease.
“Okay, my rumoured sex life is much better than my real one. Are you happy?” Sam grates, watching as Daniel just blinks at her and Jack’s lip wobbles, fighting a smirk she knows wants to burst forth.
“Well, you know we could…” Jack trails off, making a gesture with his hands that Sam is not sure she wants to know the meaning of. She’s also starting to think that maybe Daniel’s eyes are going to fall right out of his head with all the staring he’s doing. “Have a movie night,” Jack finishes gamely, brightening.
“How is that going to help?” Sam asks, throwing up her hands.
“Well, we could really drunk and maybe-”
“Lalalala…not listening!” Daniel interrupts, clamping his hands over his ears.
“I was going to say, play poker,” Jack grunts. He then raises an eyebrow at Daniel and says, “What did you think I was going to say?”
“Look, maybe we could just explain to people that it’s not true,” Daniel evades, looking from Sam to Jack.
“Ooh,” Sam sighs dramatically. “I never thought of denying it. Of course, that fixes all our problems.”
“You’re grouchy when you’re not getting any,” Daniel snarks and Sam’s mouth falls open.
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So Walter is really the one who was making those Venn diagrams then? :D
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Also can't see computer screen, because of the tears.
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Giggling my head off here.
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Bwahhhhhhhhhh. This is hysterical. I love the sekrit passage of OT3.
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They are so doing it!
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Hysterically funny story.
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Favorite line-
“Okay, my rumoured sex life is much better than my real one. Are you happy?”
:giggles more:
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Poor Sam's real sex live. Poor Daniel being prodded by Jack.
Yay sekrit passage of OT3
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(dies from laughing so hard I forgot to breathe)
MR WINKY!!!!!!
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I had to pause for hysteria before I could continue...
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