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Five Reasons Request Uno
Five reasons ficlets for the meme... these are fun. Oh, and I think I cheated a little on number five for both of them, but it was justifiable cheating.
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sheri47
5 reasons why Sam Carter shouldn't be sleeping with...
Daniel
1. They know each other a little too well. She knows all his expressions and he knows all of her noises which is great when you’re working together, not so much when there is sex involved.
Sam recognises it the second Daniel starts turning inwards to think about a translation he has been working on. The fact that he has a mouth on her breast at the time has her cuffing his ear and nearly kneeing him in the head as she rolls off the bed.
The only reason he is forgiven is because Sam made one of her ‘For Heaven’s sake, get on with it’ noises during foreplay the week before.
2. A lot of people might be able to, but they can’t ignore the Jack thing. There had been feelings there, but they’d turned into a deep seated friendship long ago. Didn’t mean that when Jack found out, he wasn’t hurt. After all, Daniel was skirting dangerously close to breaking a guy code about best friends and girls they’d loved.
Jack’s mouth firms down into that thin line that means eventually all will be forgiven, but there will be copious amounts of grovelling in the meantime. Similar to when Daniel had touched a stone inscribed with the words ‘Colour your day’ on P5T-787 and had turned Jack blue for three days.
The nickname Colonel Smurf had stopped with the promotion, because of course, it was now General Smurf.
3. Being caught mid-coitous in a store room by Walter is no one’s idea of fun.
Walter withdrawing politely with the words, “Just let me know when you’re done,” is much, much worse.
4. Daniel makes an extremely weird scrunched-up face when he comes. The fact that he makes the exact same expression when asked a question by Colonel Landry had Sam nearly tossed out of a briefing on an otherwise quiet Wednesday.
5. She should.
Cameron
1. Normally, the Grandmother references are cute, but Sam feels justified tossing Cameron from her apartment when he is trailing a broad tongue up the inside of her thigh and pauses to say, “You know, my Grandmother-“
Sam doesn’t let him finish the thought, not wanting to be scarred for life.
2. Sam finds a folded up piece of paper in Cameron’s wallet when he tells her to get out a twenty for the pizza they’ve just ordered.
On it written is ‘Five women I will sleep with before I die’.
It doesn’t annoy her that she is on this, from the browning of the paper, ancient list. It bothers her that she is number four.
It’s also laminated.
3. The tradition of girl’s night was started by Janet Frasier and Sam feels compelled to carry it on. Now it’s Sam, Colonel Angela Saunders from SG-19, Doctor Babiera, known as Suse to her friends and those she isn’t sticking in the ass with a needle, and Faye Eppens, one of the archaeology research assistants.
Sam knew it was inevitable, but when Faye proposes they lay odds on who will bed the new meat, Sam almost snorts Mimosa out of her nose.
“Oh, you have to be kidding me!” Angela breathes with round eyes and Sam laughs it off, waving an airy hand.
“No, I was just… Cameron is so clueless. Someone would have to throw him down on a bed before he’d get the hint,” Sam covers.
She doesn’t mention that that was exactly what it took.
And it was her.
4. By the way Daniel and Teal’c have Cameron bailed up in a corner of Daniel’s office, Sam realises that they know. They can be like two overprotective brothers sometimes which is… well, it’s actually pretty nice but still.
Sam makes her way over to the corner and interjects herself bodily, a hand square in the middle of each chest. “Boys, back off. We’re two consenting adults and he is not going to hurt me but if he does, he knows he’ll be hamburger.”
Sam pauses when there is dead silence in the room.
Oh, she thinks, oh no…
“Ah, Sam?” Cameron taps her lightly on the shoulder. “They weren’t… “
At that moment both Daniel and Teal’c collapse against each other, laughing hard.
5. She should.
For
sheri475 reasons why Sam Carter shouldn't be sleeping with...
Daniel
1. They know each other a little too well. She knows all his expressions and he knows all of her noises which is great when you’re working together, not so much when there is sex involved.
Sam recognises it the second Daniel starts turning inwards to think about a translation he has been working on. The fact that he has a mouth on her breast at the time has her cuffing his ear and nearly kneeing him in the head as she rolls off the bed.
The only reason he is forgiven is because Sam made one of her ‘For Heaven’s sake, get on with it’ noises during foreplay the week before.
2. A lot of people might be able to, but they can’t ignore the Jack thing. There had been feelings there, but they’d turned into a deep seated friendship long ago. Didn’t mean that when Jack found out, he wasn’t hurt. After all, Daniel was skirting dangerously close to breaking a guy code about best friends and girls they’d loved.
Jack’s mouth firms down into that thin line that means eventually all will be forgiven, but there will be copious amounts of grovelling in the meantime. Similar to when Daniel had touched a stone inscribed with the words ‘Colour your day’ on P5T-787 and had turned Jack blue for three days.
The nickname Colonel Smurf had stopped with the promotion, because of course, it was now General Smurf.
3. Being caught mid-coitous in a store room by Walter is no one’s idea of fun.
Walter withdrawing politely with the words, “Just let me know when you’re done,” is much, much worse.
4. Daniel makes an extremely weird scrunched-up face when he comes. The fact that he makes the exact same expression when asked a question by Colonel Landry had Sam nearly tossed out of a briefing on an otherwise quiet Wednesday.
5. She should.
Cameron
1. Normally, the Grandmother references are cute, but Sam feels justified tossing Cameron from her apartment when he is trailing a broad tongue up the inside of her thigh and pauses to say, “You know, my Grandmother-“
Sam doesn’t let him finish the thought, not wanting to be scarred for life.
2. Sam finds a folded up piece of paper in Cameron’s wallet when he tells her to get out a twenty for the pizza they’ve just ordered.
On it written is ‘Five women I will sleep with before I die’.
It doesn’t annoy her that she is on this, from the browning of the paper, ancient list. It bothers her that she is number four.
It’s also laminated.
3. The tradition of girl’s night was started by Janet Frasier and Sam feels compelled to carry it on. Now it’s Sam, Colonel Angela Saunders from SG-19, Doctor Babiera, known as Suse to her friends and those she isn’t sticking in the ass with a needle, and Faye Eppens, one of the archaeology research assistants.
Sam knew it was inevitable, but when Faye proposes they lay odds on who will bed the new meat, Sam almost snorts Mimosa out of her nose.
“Oh, you have to be kidding me!” Angela breathes with round eyes and Sam laughs it off, waving an airy hand.
“No, I was just… Cameron is so clueless. Someone would have to throw him down on a bed before he’d get the hint,” Sam covers.
She doesn’t mention that that was exactly what it took.
And it was her.
4. By the way Daniel and Teal’c have Cameron bailed up in a corner of Daniel’s office, Sam realises that they know. They can be like two overprotective brothers sometimes which is… well, it’s actually pretty nice but still.
Sam makes her way over to the corner and interjects herself bodily, a hand square in the middle of each chest. “Boys, back off. We’re two consenting adults and he is not going to hurt me but if he does, he knows he’ll be hamburger.”
Sam pauses when there is dead silence in the room.
Oh, she thinks, oh no…
“Ah, Sam?” Cameron taps her lightly on the shoulder. “They weren’t… “
At that moment both Daniel and Teal’c collapse against each other, laughing hard.
5. She should.
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But the thing that made me absolutely lose it? Cam's laminated list. Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!
Too. Much. Fun.
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Colonel *gasp* SMURF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*dies laughing*
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:D
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These were just wonderful. You've made your case for both!
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Thanks!
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So amusing! :)
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*bounces*
Colonel Smurf and Daniels scrunchy face will keep me laughing all day (and then some)
and, Cameron's number 3. yeah...good little story in itself.
Thank you!
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I might eventually revisit it... :)
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Loved them all.
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"Nooo... I'm not reading fic at all... lalalalaa..."
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:snerk:
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*loves*
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