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"One Impossibly Bad Day"
Title: One Impossibly Bad Day
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kellifer_fic
Rating: G
Category: SGA (Keller/Lorne UST)
Word Count: 665
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, no offense, no money.
“So I was thinking,” Keller says. “I was thinking that I wouldn’t do this whole offworld thing anymore. It… ah… always ends badly.”
Lorne managed to swivel his body enough so he could see the doctor which was a big ask considering he was tied to a stone pillar. There was a stone ring set in the ground and Keller was tied to that, cross-legged and trying to brush hair out of her face with her bound hands. Lorne had been unsuccessfully trying to get to the knife in his boot that the villagers had left but it was proving fruitless. He was starting to wonder if maybe the doctor could reach it if he were to stretch just enough when she started talking.
“I mean, fall down a hole, be pursued by barbarians and betrayed by Genii and now… this.” Keller flaps her hands as much as she’s able with the wrists secured together and lets out such a put-upon sigh that Lorne nearly laughs.
There’s the far-off sound of something wild and they both freeze. If Lorne weren’t in another galaxy he would’ve sworn it was a wolf.
“Now I’ve been left out in the middle of nowhere to be eaten by bears. Just great,” she huffs and Lorne can no longer hold in the chuckles. “Oh well, as long as you find this all so amusing,” she grates, glaring but the whole effect is ruined when the errant strand of hair falls back in her face and she blows it out of her eyes impatiently.
“You’re cute when you’re mad,” Lorne observes, swinging his legs in Keller’s direction.
“Yes, well, you’re cute when you’re getting me the hell out of here!” Keller shrills but there’s a pleased flush to her cheeks that Lorne doesn’t miss.
“Look, I’m all for vetoing your jaunts offworld. I mean, c’mon. I’m supposed to be suavely rescuing you here, not being the main course to your appetizer.”
“Why am I the appetizer?” Keller asks and now Lorne busts out laughing for real. He may be about to die horribly but he can’t help it. “No seriously, is it because I’m a woman?”
“It’s because you’re smaller,” Lorne says between gasps for breath and Keller’s eyes narrow again but she doesn’t look quite as affronted. “Besides,” Lorne says, “As long as I get us free, I don’t have to outrun the monster, I just have to outrun you.”
“Oh very heroic,” Keller snaps but now she’s grinning too and not sounding as defeated so Lorne counts that as a win.
“You two done flirting?” a voice asks and Lorne swivels again and sees Sheppard appear out of the underbrush, Rodney trailing behind, picking leaves out of his hair and grumbling.
“How did you two get loose?” Lorne demands, because he knew for a fact that Sheppard and McKay were tied as securely as he and Keller a couple of hundred yards to the North.
“There was a whole thing with a paper clip and the sun,” Rodney replies airily, digging a pocketknife out and starting to cut through Keller’s bindings. She smiles at him as he undoes her hands and then lets him help her up, slanting a glance at Lorne when she’s upright.
“Thank you, Rodney,” she says pointedly and Lorne groans and thumps his head against the pillar.
“Just leave me here to be eaten,” he says. Ronon appears on the other side of the clearing, Teyla right behind him. “Oh c’mon, did everyone escape but us?”
“Maybe we should tie you up when we get back to Atlantis for practice?” Keller says as she’s patting down her pockets to check what’s missing. When silence descends she looks around. “What?”
Teyla is kneeling by Lorne with her own knife out and he waggles his bound hands at her in a dismissive gesture. “Just go,” he says. “Being eaten by bears now seems a lot more pleasant than the way this afternoon is actually turning out.”
Author:
kellifer_ficRating: G
Category: SGA (Keller/Lorne UST)
Word Count: 665
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, no offense, no money.
“So I was thinking,” Keller says. “I was thinking that I wouldn’t do this whole offworld thing anymore. It… ah… always ends badly.”
Lorne managed to swivel his body enough so he could see the doctor which was a big ask considering he was tied to a stone pillar. There was a stone ring set in the ground and Keller was tied to that, cross-legged and trying to brush hair out of her face with her bound hands. Lorne had been unsuccessfully trying to get to the knife in his boot that the villagers had left but it was proving fruitless. He was starting to wonder if maybe the doctor could reach it if he were to stretch just enough when she started talking.
“I mean, fall down a hole, be pursued by barbarians and betrayed by Genii and now… this.” Keller flaps her hands as much as she’s able with the wrists secured together and lets out such a put-upon sigh that Lorne nearly laughs.
There’s the far-off sound of something wild and they both freeze. If Lorne weren’t in another galaxy he would’ve sworn it was a wolf.
“Now I’ve been left out in the middle of nowhere to be eaten by bears. Just great,” she huffs and Lorne can no longer hold in the chuckles. “Oh well, as long as you find this all so amusing,” she grates, glaring but the whole effect is ruined when the errant strand of hair falls back in her face and she blows it out of her eyes impatiently.
“You’re cute when you’re mad,” Lorne observes, swinging his legs in Keller’s direction.
“Yes, well, you’re cute when you’re getting me the hell out of here!” Keller shrills but there’s a pleased flush to her cheeks that Lorne doesn’t miss.
“Look, I’m all for vetoing your jaunts offworld. I mean, c’mon. I’m supposed to be suavely rescuing you here, not being the main course to your appetizer.”
“Why am I the appetizer?” Keller asks and now Lorne busts out laughing for real. He may be about to die horribly but he can’t help it. “No seriously, is it because I’m a woman?”
“It’s because you’re smaller,” Lorne says between gasps for breath and Keller’s eyes narrow again but she doesn’t look quite as affronted. “Besides,” Lorne says, “As long as I get us free, I don’t have to outrun the monster, I just have to outrun you.”
“Oh very heroic,” Keller snaps but now she’s grinning too and not sounding as defeated so Lorne counts that as a win.
“You two done flirting?” a voice asks and Lorne swivels again and sees Sheppard appear out of the underbrush, Rodney trailing behind, picking leaves out of his hair and grumbling.
“How did you two get loose?” Lorne demands, because he knew for a fact that Sheppard and McKay were tied as securely as he and Keller a couple of hundred yards to the North.
“There was a whole thing with a paper clip and the sun,” Rodney replies airily, digging a pocketknife out and starting to cut through Keller’s bindings. She smiles at him as he undoes her hands and then lets him help her up, slanting a glance at Lorne when she’s upright.
“Thank you, Rodney,” she says pointedly and Lorne groans and thumps his head against the pillar.
“Just leave me here to be eaten,” he says. Ronon appears on the other side of the clearing, Teyla right behind him. “Oh c’mon, did everyone escape but us?”
“Maybe we should tie you up when we get back to Atlantis for practice?” Keller says as she’s patting down her pockets to check what’s missing. When silence descends she looks around. “What?”
Teyla is kneeling by Lorne with her own knife out and he waggles his bound hands at her in a dismissive gesture. “Just go,” he says. “Being eaten by bears now seems a lot more pleasant than the way this afternoon is actually turning out.”
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Very cute.
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Loved it!
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Dammit.
;)
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that was hilarious. :D
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And so, so cute!
*loves*
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Sigh
Great fic thanks for writing and sharing :) I would love some more of this if the muse is open to suggestion.
:)
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Proof positive, Lorne could charm anything breathing and make a totally believable pairing with almost anyone on Atlantis. I'd love to see more of these two. :D
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One Impossibly Bad Day - story
Love, max
Re: One Impossibly Bad Day - story
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Love Lorne with anyone though, you're totally right there. :)
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Now, um, can we have the obvious tied up back at Atlantis sequel? *coughcough*
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And now I want Lorne/Keller to be canon!
I could just see it, it would be adorable!
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“Maybe we should tie you up when we get back to Atlantis for practice?” Keller says as she’s patting down her pockets to check what’s missing. When silence descends she looks around. “What?”
LOL
I love Lorne! He should have waaay more screentime, imho.
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Oh Lorne!
Everyone's beautifully characterized! Awesome chemistry between them all and endlessly amusing banter.