kellifer: (Sam and Dean)
kellifer ([personal profile] kellifer) wrote2007-05-08 11:51 am

"Can't Keep A Good Man Down"

Title: Can't Keep A Good Man Down
By: [livejournal.com profile] kellifer_fic
Fandom: SPN
Rating: PG (language)
Words: 765
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, no money!
Summary: Five ways the Winchesters deal with being undead.



~ Werewolf ~


Sam is never going to let it go.

“Are you going to give me the silent treatment for eternity?” Dean asks, watching his little brother pace, leaves and sticks crackling under his bare feet. Dean knows that Sam can move silently so he’s making noise on purpose. Just to bug him, which, you know, fair enough.

“It was an accident.”

“An accident,” Sam spits, whipping around and glaring. He flings his arms out wide and Dean fights the urge to cover his eyes because Sam is not wearing anything and for someone that had always been swamped with layers, he’s gotten okay with the whole naked thing pretty fast.

Closet nudist, Dean thinks and snorts to himself. He, on the other hand, waits until the very last moment to strip off. He’s seen movies. He knows dramatically ripping off your shirt right before you change is the cool thing to do.

A low growl has started deep in Sam’s chest and Dean snorts again, thinking of all the quick off the mark jokes he can make later.

For one perfect second they had forgotten. In between cycles and just lazing about, Sam had stolen Dean’s beer, they’d wrestled and Dean had bitten him. He’d only meant to do it lightly but Sam had jammed his arm back and Dean’s teeth had caught and ripped skin.

So yeah, accident.

Dean sees a ripple across Sam’s skin and Sam grunts, stumbling a little. “I still think you did this on purpose,” Sam says, his words edging down into a snarl around elongated teeth.

Yeah, Dean thinks. Never letting it go.

~ Vampire ~


Dean buying a cape is one thing.

Dean counting aloud at every opportunity and adding a “Bwahahaha,” to the end of it is just a step too far.

“Because it’s just ludicrous,” Dean sighs when Sam asks him just why the hell he can’t take anything seriously.

~ Zombie ~


“Dude, you smell like death.”

“Every day, Dean? Do we have to do that joke every day?”

“Be nice,” Dean snaps. “I’m sewing your hand back on aren’t I?”

“Because you threw a machete at me!” Sam cries, smacking his other hand over his face.

“Who told you to try and catch it?” Dean snorts, wincing a little when a particularly stubborn knot just won’t work its way through the flesh of his brother’s wrist. He figures that's good enough and ties off, grinning to himself because the only thread he’d been able to find was bright pink.

“So, should we try burial at a crossroads again?” Sam asks, picking at his stitches absently until Dean slaps his hand away.

“Nah, I really don’t think that works. We could try the silver stake?”

“That just gave me a rash.”

“Burning?”

“Can we leave that till last?”

“What else have we got?”

“Painted blue under moonlight and saying our names backwards three times.”

“Now you’re just making shit up.”

“It’s quite possible that I am.”

Dean and Sam look at each other for a moment and then grin.

“Movie?” Dean proposes.

“You read my mind,” Sam laughs.

~ Ghost ~


Two men sit on the side of the road, side by side on a fence that’s seen better days. There are duffles tossed on the ground by their feet and it looks like they are in the middle of a rousing game of rock, paper, scissors. Every now and again, someone will slow their car but when they get close, the men disappear and they think it must be a trick of the light.

~ Banshee ~


Dean folds his wings back and rubs his chin. “This whole gig is depressing.”

Sam, crouched at his side with his hands dangling between his knees looks up and raises an eyebrow. “You thought being a death herald would be all rainbows and ponies?”

“No, of course not. It’s just that… no one will ever be happy to see us, ever again.”

“That’s true,” Sam says, nodding slowly. “Plus, we’re the only males.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Dean snorts and Sam has to grin.

“Okay, is it your turn to wail or mine?”

“Who knows? And stop calling it wailing. I’m a guy. I holler.”

“You’re a banshee. You know, woman of the fairy mound?”

“I don’t have a fairy mound,” Dean snaps, leaning sideways to push at Sam’s shoulder. “Stop saying shit like that.” Dean glares for a moment before he grins. “Besides, I’m a ban-he. The only ban-she on this roof is you.”

“You’re a riot.”

“You know what? I’m tired of waiting. Let’s go grab a burger.”
lark_ascends: Blue and purple dragonfly, green background (Default)

[personal profile] lark_ascends 2007-05-08 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
Dean counting aloud at every opportunity and adding a “Bwahahaha,” to the end of it is just a step too far.

*falls off chairs laughing*

And I love the idea of them paying rock, paper, scissors for eternity.

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:43 am (UTC)(link)
Hehehee... you know they would. Dean would be like "Best out of three hundred and eleventy million!"

[identity profile] neuroticris.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 02:12 am (UTC)(link)
“Who knows? And stop calling it wailing. I’m a guy. I holler.”

Oh man! Classic Dean! LOL! Very cute.

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:43 am (UTC)(link)
Hee... thankyou!

[identity profile] miera-c.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
That is just so wrong. I love it.

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:44 am (UTC)(link)
Hahaaa... :)

[identity profile] blazeorfade.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 02:14 am (UTC)(link)
This is brilliant. Loved the vampire and zombie ones especially.

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:44 am (UTC)(link)
Thankyou!

[identity profile] dolimir-k.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 02:18 am (UTC)(link)
Bwahahahaha. These are great! And the vampire bit just had me in stitches. I can so see Dean doing that!

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:45 am (UTC)(link)
Of course! He bought a small plastic cape like you get in kid's novelty dressup kits... hee!!
order_of_chaos: (Default)

[personal profile] order_of_chaos 2007-05-08 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
Brilliant!
*dies laughing*

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:45 am (UTC)(link)
Thankyou!
embroiderama: (Dean & Sam - wrestling)

[personal profile] embroiderama 2007-05-08 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
Dean counting aloud at every opportunity and adding a “Bwahahaha,” to the end of it is just a step too far.

ROTFLMAO! These are so sublimely silly and wonderful.

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:45 am (UTC)(link)
Daww... thankyou!

[identity profile] starrylizard.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
*snickers* Dear lord, so silly! :P

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:46 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, very much so... I was mired in the ansgty and just had to have a break... hee!
theladyscribe: Etta Place and Butch Cassidy laughing. (a silly place)

[personal profile] theladyscribe 2007-05-08 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
Bwa-hahaha. This was delightful! I loved the vampire one (surely there was a Sesame Street reference in that one), and the werewolf one was just too believable.

And ha! Of course Dean the Ban-He would just go for a burger.

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:46 am (UTC)(link)
Hee... thankyou!

[identity profile] misskatieleigh.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
OH.MY.GOD.

seriously dying from laughter here. hehehee!

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:46 am (UTC)(link)
Hehee... thankyou hon!
innie_darling: (dean considers the options)

[personal profile] innie_darling 2007-05-08 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
I'm trying to figure out if this fic is funny or sad, and I just can't. Either way, it's awesome.

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:47 am (UTC)(link)
Aww... thankyou. I did slope towards the sad ...

[identity profile] calijirl5150.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
:: Can't breath, laughin too much::

::sings in her best Billy Idol voice "More More More"::

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:47 am (UTC)(link)
Hahahaaa! :)

[identity profile] iamstealthyone.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 04:09 am (UTC)(link)
Great job on these. So much awesome banter and humor, and then the ghost one made me ache.

Favorite lines:

He, on the other hand, waits until the very last moment to strip off. He’s seen movies. He knows dramatically ripping off your shirt right before you change is the cool thing to do.

LOL! That’s so Dean.

Dean buying a cape is one thing.

Dean counting aloud at every opportunity and adding a “Bwahahaha,” to the end of it is just a step too far.


*snickers*

“Dude, you smell like death.”

“Every day, Dean? Do we have to do that joke every day?”

“Be nice,” Dean snaps. “I’m sewing your hand back on aren’t I?”


Priceless.

Two men sit on the side of the road, side by side on a fence that’s seen better days. There are duffles tossed on the ground by their feet and it looks like they are in the middle of a rousing game of rock, paper, scissors. Every now and again, someone will slow their car but when they get close, the men disappear and they think it must be a trick of the light.

Oh, boys. Lovely and aching writing here.

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:48 am (UTC)(link)
Thankyou so much!

[identity profile] empressvesica.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
Each one is funnier than the last. The quip about "hollering" is hysterical. Oh these two...sort of makes one grateful they won't really have only each other for company forever. Because while that's amusing for us, I have to think they might prefer a break every now and again.

Thanks for the giggle. :D

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:48 am (UTC)(link)
Hehee... yes, I think they would try to kill each other... even though they were undead... :D

[identity profile] tobemeagain.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 04:53 am (UTC)(link)
Oh My Lord that is hilarious... *giggles some more*
just yeah, thank you.

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:49 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks for reading!

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_minxy_/ 2007-05-08 04:58 am (UTC)(link)
Dean *bought a cape*??? AND COUNTS WITH THE LAUGHING MANIACLY????

HHAHAHAHAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:49 am (UTC)(link)
Heheheee... :D

[identity profile] splendidsilence.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 05:12 am (UTC)(link)
LOL! Oh, that was classic!

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:49 am (UTC)(link)
Thankyou!

[identity profile] adannu.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 05:31 am (UTC)(link)
AHAHAHA DEAN! With the CAPE. And the counting!

The ghost one left me wistful and a little melancholy. Oh, boys.

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:50 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks for reading...:D

[identity profile] not-sally.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 06:50 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, My god. Only you can make death this awesome.

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 07:51 am (UTC)(link)
Hehehee... why thankyou! :D

[identity profile] lamis-p.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 09:43 am (UTC)(link)
These are great!

I love the image of Sam wondering around nude -- goes to happy place :)

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 12:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Hehehee... nude and *growly*

Joins you in going to the happy place... :D

[identity profile] liamar13.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 11:05 am (UTC)(link)
'i dont have a fairy mound'

you totally killed me with laughter. i love this! it is totally made of awesomeness

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 12:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee... thankyou!
havocthecat: the lady of shalott (Default)

[personal profile] havocthecat 2007-05-08 01:49 pm (UTC)(link)
*dies* This is brilliant.

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Thankyou! :)
ext_12410: (the dean show - dean and sam)

[identity profile] tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 02:03 pm (UTC)(link)
>>“Because it’s just ludicrous,” Dean sighs when Sam asks him just why the hell he can’t take anything seriously. <<

"vampires. gets funnier every time i say it." heee. i love the rock paper scissors - dean is probably still losing for all eternity - and zombie!sam picking at his pink stitches and never letting wolf!dean forget that he BIT him and "ban-he" and vamp!dean with the cape and wolf!dean ripping his clothes off at the very last minute before he turns because it's cooler that way and i lovelovelove that they slag off their banshee duties for a burger. they're so, so cute.

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 11:10 pm (UTC)(link)
:D Thankyou! Very glad you enjoyed...!

[identity profile] yellowhorde.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 02:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, my God, but these were funny! I especially liked the last one. Priceless!

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 11:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Hee... thankyou!

[identity profile] geeky-ginger.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 02:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Only the Winchester could be so well adjusted and unphased when they get turned into the undead....the zombie one make me snicker.

[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com 2007-05-08 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks for reading!

Page 1 of 3