"Hulk calls me that. You can't expect me to be happy to see you when you're using a pet name I equate with big green."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Is my naked body laying on your bed not enough?"
"Why is your naked body laying in my bed? We said we would wait!"
"And we have!"
"That was three days ago! And you-- You!"
"Me... what?"
"You're all naked and in my bed and... naked. Christ, I can see your nipples."
"You had your mouth on them last night!"
"That was through a t-shirt, it didn't count!"
"Are you seriously arguing against us having sex? I knew I should've gone for Tony."
"I'm not against us having sex, just not right away. And Tony is way too old for you. He's too old for me, and I'm still on the fence if I'm too old for you."
"Okay, that's it."
"Where are you going?"
"To see if Thor's bestest buddies are still here. Fandral's a bit of a tool, but he's got a way with the ladies. I'm sure he wouldn't say no to a naked chick in his bed."
"Stop, what are. Where are you even? You cannot have sex with Fandral! He's a douchenozzle! And you're my girlfriend!"
"Not if you wanna keep playing like we're in the third grade. I need a little more than hand-holding in the park and cuddly movie nights that end up leaving me frustrated enough to need to have a go with Armundo."
"Who is Armundo?!"
"My vibrator, chill out. I'm not two-timing you."
"Sorry, weren't you just about to run off and let Prince Dashing have his noble way with you?"
"Are you gay? Did you want me to, I don't know, be your beard or something? Wait, you and Tony aren't--"
"Me and Tony?! Where is this-- Why would you--?"
"Well I don't know! You just made that 'too old for you' crack and you and him are always messing around pulling pranks and stuff. Who knows what else the two of you have been getting up to?"
"I wish brain-bleach was a real thing. I want to wipe this conversation from my mind. The only one who's old enough for Tony is, I don't know, Steve or something, and that's only because Steve is in his ninties."
Nipples and Ice Cream 1/2
"Hey there, Cupid."
"Oh my god, please don't ever say that again."
"What?"
"Hulk calls me that. You can't expect me to be happy to see you when you're using a pet name I equate with big green."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Is my naked body laying on your bed not enough?"
"Why is your naked body laying in my bed? We said we would wait!"
"And we have!"
"That was three days ago! And you-- You!"
"Me... what?"
"You're all naked and in my bed and... naked. Christ, I can see your nipples."
"You had your mouth on them last night!"
"That was through a t-shirt, it didn't count!"
"Are you seriously arguing against us having sex? I knew I should've gone for Tony."
"I'm not against us having sex, just not right away. And Tony is way too old for you. He's too old for me, and I'm still on the fence if I'm too old for you."
"Okay, that's it."
"Where are you going?"
"To see if Thor's bestest buddies are still here. Fandral's a bit of a tool, but he's got a way with the ladies. I'm sure he wouldn't say no to a naked chick in his bed."
"Stop, what are. Where are you even? You cannot have sex with Fandral! He's a douchenozzle! And you're my girlfriend!"
"Not if you wanna keep playing like we're in the third grade. I need a little more than hand-holding in the park and cuddly movie nights that end up leaving me frustrated enough to need to have a go with Armundo."
"Who is Armundo?!"
"My vibrator, chill out. I'm not two-timing you."
"Sorry, weren't you just about to run off and let Prince Dashing have his noble way with you?"
"Are you gay? Did you want me to, I don't know, be your beard or something? Wait, you and Tony aren't--"
"Me and Tony?! Where is this-- Why would you--?"
"Well I don't know! You just made that 'too old for you' crack and you and him are always messing around pulling pranks and stuff. Who knows what else the two of you have been getting up to?"
"I wish brain-bleach was a real thing. I want to wipe this conversation from my mind. The only one who's old enough for Tony is, I don't know, Steve or something, and that's only because Steve is in his ninties."
"Are Tony and Steve...?"
"I don't know! I don't care!"
"Not even about my naked body?"
"Darcy! The sheet!"