I loved the twist of Dean being made human only to immediately be faced with Sam's imminent death (those Crossroads Demons are tricky bastards! *g*). And poor Dean, it must have felt so surreal to be sitting there at Sam's bedside, and be told "machines are keeping your brother alive" (talk about irony), and for Dean to know that Sam could very well die, and Dean would go on living--purposeless.
I loved how you did all the parts with Dean recognizing the differences now that he was human--from his initial panic attack in the car, to his realizing that the human brain can't handle too much information coming at it, at once, and shuts down.
I also really appreciated this exchange, with Bobby: It's going to wear him down you makin' like you don't care. How about rather than thinking about you endin', you think about you leavin'?"
"Leaving?"
"You leavin' him, because that's what this all means."
That was the perfect way to bring it home to Dean.
I do have a question. Why did the YED want to take back Dean's humanity? Was it just a means to an end? A way to ensure that Dean wouldn't be around for Sam to lean on when the struggle for Sam's soul began? (Or, in the same vein, that a Sam-without-Dean would be a broken Sam, one who wouldn't fight to hard against his destiny?)
I do have one concrit, if you don't mind hearing it. I didn't realize, until I was posting this comment, that the reason the YED mentioned Jake was because it must have been Jake that was there at the car, after the accident. I think it would have helped if you could have foreshadowed that revelation a bit more. Maybe either had Dean notice the guy was tall and African-American, or wearing camouflage clothing, or maybe had Dean actually see that it was a knife in Sam's gut.
I know when I read that passage I was envisioning something having pierced Sam's belly, from the accident (flying metal, or whatever). So I was concerned that Dean was shooting an emergency worker. The only reason I had to suspect that wasn't the case was knowing what had gone down in "In My Time of Dying", knowing that the possessed truck driver had come up to the car to try to get the Colt.
So I think it would work better, for the story, if you gave the reader more of a hint that it was Jake.
Another winner. =)
I loved how you did all the parts with Dean recognizing the differences now that he was human--from his initial panic attack in the car, to his realizing that the human brain can't handle too much information coming at it, at once, and shuts down.
I also really appreciated this exchange, with Bobby:
It's going to wear him down you makin' like you don't care. How about rather than thinking about you endin', you think about you leavin'?"
"Leaving?"
"You leavin' him, because that's what this all means."
That was the perfect way to bring it home to Dean.
I do have a question. Why did the YED want to take back Dean's humanity? Was it just a means to an end? A way to ensure that Dean wouldn't be around for Sam to lean on when the struggle for Sam's soul began? (Or, in the same vein, that a Sam-without-Dean would be a broken Sam, one who wouldn't fight to hard against his destiny?)
I do have one concrit, if you don't mind hearing it. I didn't realize, until I was posting this comment, that the reason the YED mentioned Jake was because it must have been Jake that was there at the car, after the accident. I think it would have helped if you could have foreshadowed that revelation a bit more. Maybe either had Dean notice the guy was tall and African-American, or wearing camouflage clothing, or maybe had Dean actually see that it was a knife in Sam's gut.
I know when I read that passage I was envisioning something having pierced Sam's belly, from the accident (flying metal, or whatever). So I was concerned that Dean was shooting an emergency worker. The only reason I had to suspect that wasn't the case was knowing what had gone down in "In My Time of Dying", knowing that the possessed truck driver had come up to the car to try to get the Colt.
So I think it would work better, for the story, if you gave the reader more of a hint that it was Jake.