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"Fifty Miles Of Humiliation"
This was one of the ideas from the If I Were Your Minion meme that just tickled me way too much to leave alone.
Title: Fifty Miles Of Humiliation
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kellifer_fic
Rating: PG
Category: SPN, Sam/Jess
Word Count: 1,200
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, no offense, no money.
Summary: The first time Jess lays eyes on Sam, he's naked and she's having a phenomenally bad day.
Life Drawing had seemed like such a good idea at the time.
The little community center was completely charming, little girls in tutus and older women in yoga outfits. Everyone coming together and such a sense of family about the place that Jess had felt compelled to sign up to just about anything. Nothing had caught her fancy until she’d noticed the bright purple flyer tacked up on the wall about sculpture, almost obscured by a pamphlet about Spanish Cooking Made Easy and Lose Those Ten Pounds Now!.
Those first few classes had been a revelation. Jess was pre-med but she thought if she’d had to live this life over again, she might have chosen differently. She’d never done any real art, never enjoyed it so much. She started looking at other classes, squeezing anything in to her hectic schedule she could. When Life Drawing came up, she jumped at the chance.
The previous week had been a fifty year old woman, round and lovely who chatted with Jess afterwards, saying how it was funny that at twenty and with a much more perfect body, she never would have dreamed of doing anything like this, but now with time and stretch marks, she’d found the way easier. Jess had told her she was beautiful and the woman had laughed and kissed her cheek.
Jess had set up her easel and was setting out her charcoals, her medium of choice she had discovered, when the model took the platform. Jess looked up, saw the six-foot five brown haired guy drop his robe and everything in her just… flailed.
Her easel ended up on the floor, her sketchpad face-down behind her and her charcoal rolling every which way. She was on her knees trying to gather everything up, muttering sorry, sorry, sorry and the teacher was down with her, asking if everything was okay when she heard one of the women in the back, nicknamed by Jess in her head as the Blue-haired Bitches, mutter Honestly, some people.
Jess was up and running from the room before she even realised what was happening.
000
“Hey, Cyclone Cathy!”
Jess had found the perfect tree with a back-shaped hollow and had just settled down to get some reading done when she heard the voice. She looked up and for a moment was struck, wondering where she’d seen the guy standing by her feet her before when she remembered.
“Naked!” Jess blurted and then bit her lip. The guy was looking at her with a raised eyebrow and a half-grin like he wasn’t sure she was one hundred percent crazy, maybe just ninety-nine but she could tip over that valuable one percent any minute.
“Uh, it’s Sam actually,” he introduced, one of his hands passing into her line of sight. He was still standing and she was sitting on the ground so when Jess shot out her own arm, she managed to knock her hand against his groin because, well, apparently the Universe hadn’t quite had enough fun with her. Sam danced backwards, comically wide-eyed and Jess snatched her hand back and just stared at it, horrified.
“I’m so sorry,” Jess groaned. She had one of her books of lecture notes in her other hand and smacked it against her face.
“Are you supposed to wear a helmet in public normally?” Sam asked. The grin was back, but this time it looked a little forced.
Jess put a hand up to her head and rubbed absently. “I’m beginning to think so,” she said. “Look, normally I’m not so…” she flailed her hand, realised she was now gesturing in the vicinity of Sam’s crotch and put it back on the ground. She moved her foot so it was on top of her hand, just to be safe.
“I was going to ask if you wanted to see a movie of something, but I’m not sure I have enough padding,” Sam said and Jess looked back up at him, her mouth dropping open.
“Why would you ask me out?” Jess asked incredulously. “You must think I’m a complete lunatic.”
“Maybe I find it charming,” Sam said with a shrug.
000
Jess had thought she had truly hit the bottom of the embarrassment canyon, but when she opened her dorm door to Sam and he kind of shuffled, bit his lip and then said, “I’m sorry, but I think there’s… toilet paper caught on your heel,” she found that there could be the bottom of the embarrassment canyon and then another fifty miles of humiliation below that was now being explored to its fullest potential.
Jess backed into her room, kicked her leg up to free the paper and managed to send her shoe sailing out the window. There was a muffled “Hey!” from somewhere outside.
“Okay, now you’re just doing that on purpose,” Sam accused, laughing.
Suddenly, it didn’t seem so bad.
000
Sam Winchester was dimple-cheeked, farm boy good looking, mysterious and had an accent that wandered fifty states. He looked at the restaurant wine menu like he knew what he was doing, but when the waiter came by he kind of stammered and then smiled wide when Jess asked for two glasses of whatever the house special was.
They both had steaks and Sam’s grin got wider when Jess plonked her uneaten half down on his plate but parried his fork when he made a move on her potatoes. They both switched to beer and then coffee, getting three desserts between them because they couldn’t decide between the cheesecake, chocolate mousse or vanilla bean ice cream and were the last people in the place, getting the evil eye from the staff.
Jess had switched to her favourite flat shoes when her heeled pump had flown the coop and she was glad for it when Sam detoured them into a park with a large square sand-filled play area with swings and a slide on the way back to campus. Sam pushed her for a while on the swings and then she tried to push him with less success and when she went down the slide and her dress ended up nearly around her arm pits, she was glad she’d worn her nice pair of black panties. Sam had laughingly rescued her from the bottom, saying that since she’d seen him totally buck-naked it was the least she could’ve done that night.
When he dropped her back at her room, he kissed the tip of her nose and for a moment she thought with horror that maybe she’d wandered into the little sister realm without realising it by being such a goofball but before he left her, he managed to get a hand on her ass and gave it a healthy squeeze.
“You were the one who got all handsy first,” he laughed, walking backwards down her hallway. “And you’d better be thinking of a way to equal the slide-flash for next time because that’s a hard one to top.”
“There’s going to be a next time?” Jess called and Sam gave her two enthusiastic thumbs up.
He called her the next morning when the sun had barely broken the horizon and asked her to breakfast.
“I’ll meet you in twenty minutes,” Jess said.
Title: Fifty Miles Of Humiliation
Author:
kellifer_fic Rating: PG
Category: SPN, Sam/Jess
Word Count: 1,200
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, no offense, no money.
Summary: The first time Jess lays eyes on Sam, he's naked and she's having a phenomenally bad day.
Life Drawing had seemed like such a good idea at the time.
The little community center was completely charming, little girls in tutus and older women in yoga outfits. Everyone coming together and such a sense of family about the place that Jess had felt compelled to sign up to just about anything. Nothing had caught her fancy until she’d noticed the bright purple flyer tacked up on the wall about sculpture, almost obscured by a pamphlet about Spanish Cooking Made Easy and Lose Those Ten Pounds Now!.
Those first few classes had been a revelation. Jess was pre-med but she thought if she’d had to live this life over again, she might have chosen differently. She’d never done any real art, never enjoyed it so much. She started looking at other classes, squeezing anything in to her hectic schedule she could. When Life Drawing came up, she jumped at the chance.
The previous week had been a fifty year old woman, round and lovely who chatted with Jess afterwards, saying how it was funny that at twenty and with a much more perfect body, she never would have dreamed of doing anything like this, but now with time and stretch marks, she’d found the way easier. Jess had told her she was beautiful and the woman had laughed and kissed her cheek.
Jess had set up her easel and was setting out her charcoals, her medium of choice she had discovered, when the model took the platform. Jess looked up, saw the six-foot five brown haired guy drop his robe and everything in her just… flailed.
Her easel ended up on the floor, her sketchpad face-down behind her and her charcoal rolling every which way. She was on her knees trying to gather everything up, muttering sorry, sorry, sorry and the teacher was down with her, asking if everything was okay when she heard one of the women in the back, nicknamed by Jess in her head as the Blue-haired Bitches, mutter Honestly, some people.
Jess was up and running from the room before she even realised what was happening.
“Hey, Cyclone Cathy!”
Jess had found the perfect tree with a back-shaped hollow and had just settled down to get some reading done when she heard the voice. She looked up and for a moment was struck, wondering where she’d seen the guy standing by her feet her before when she remembered.
“Naked!” Jess blurted and then bit her lip. The guy was looking at her with a raised eyebrow and a half-grin like he wasn’t sure she was one hundred percent crazy, maybe just ninety-nine but she could tip over that valuable one percent any minute.
“Uh, it’s Sam actually,” he introduced, one of his hands passing into her line of sight. He was still standing and she was sitting on the ground so when Jess shot out her own arm, she managed to knock her hand against his groin because, well, apparently the Universe hadn’t quite had enough fun with her. Sam danced backwards, comically wide-eyed and Jess snatched her hand back and just stared at it, horrified.
“I’m so sorry,” Jess groaned. She had one of her books of lecture notes in her other hand and smacked it against her face.
“Are you supposed to wear a helmet in public normally?” Sam asked. The grin was back, but this time it looked a little forced.
Jess put a hand up to her head and rubbed absently. “I’m beginning to think so,” she said. “Look, normally I’m not so…” she flailed her hand, realised she was now gesturing in the vicinity of Sam’s crotch and put it back on the ground. She moved her foot so it was on top of her hand, just to be safe.
“I was going to ask if you wanted to see a movie of something, but I’m not sure I have enough padding,” Sam said and Jess looked back up at him, her mouth dropping open.
“Why would you ask me out?” Jess asked incredulously. “You must think I’m a complete lunatic.”
“Maybe I find it charming,” Sam said with a shrug.
Jess had thought she had truly hit the bottom of the embarrassment canyon, but when she opened her dorm door to Sam and he kind of shuffled, bit his lip and then said, “I’m sorry, but I think there’s… toilet paper caught on your heel,” she found that there could be the bottom of the embarrassment canyon and then another fifty miles of humiliation below that was now being explored to its fullest potential.
Jess backed into her room, kicked her leg up to free the paper and managed to send her shoe sailing out the window. There was a muffled “Hey!” from somewhere outside.
“Okay, now you’re just doing that on purpose,” Sam accused, laughing.
Suddenly, it didn’t seem so bad.
Sam Winchester was dimple-cheeked, farm boy good looking, mysterious and had an accent that wandered fifty states. He looked at the restaurant wine menu like he knew what he was doing, but when the waiter came by he kind of stammered and then smiled wide when Jess asked for two glasses of whatever the house special was.
They both had steaks and Sam’s grin got wider when Jess plonked her uneaten half down on his plate but parried his fork when he made a move on her potatoes. They both switched to beer and then coffee, getting three desserts between them because they couldn’t decide between the cheesecake, chocolate mousse or vanilla bean ice cream and were the last people in the place, getting the evil eye from the staff.
Jess had switched to her favourite flat shoes when her heeled pump had flown the coop and she was glad for it when Sam detoured them into a park with a large square sand-filled play area with swings and a slide on the way back to campus. Sam pushed her for a while on the swings and then she tried to push him with less success and when she went down the slide and her dress ended up nearly around her arm pits, she was glad she’d worn her nice pair of black panties. Sam had laughingly rescued her from the bottom, saying that since she’d seen him totally buck-naked it was the least she could’ve done that night.
When he dropped her back at her room, he kissed the tip of her nose and for a moment she thought with horror that maybe she’d wandered into the little sister realm without realising it by being such a goofball but before he left her, he managed to get a hand on her ass and gave it a healthy squeeze.
“You were the one who got all handsy first,” he laughed, walking backwards down her hallway. “And you’d better be thinking of a way to equal the slide-flash for next time because that’s a hard one to top.”
“There’s going to be a next time?” Jess called and Sam gave her two enthusiastic thumbs up.
He called her the next morning when the sun had barely broken the horizon and asked her to breakfast.
“I’ll meet you in twenty minutes,” Jess said.
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