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I just saw a lovely message for me on the valentine's day game and honestly - such sweet words couldn't have come at a better time.
Basically - what's happening at the moment is that my dad had to have triple bypass surgery. Being the sole carer for my mother, my sister and I are sharing those duties alongside full time work, kids etc. She doesn't need much help - she just has really awful arthritis and she's in her seventies so the biggest concern is that if she falls over she can't get up and sometimes she has trouble getting out of chairs (she got one of her knees replaced only a few months ago - thankfully it's made a small but NOTICEABLE difference to her mobility and if this had all happened pre-that surgery this would have been far worse) and opening things. My sister is doing day shift and I'm doing nights so I'm sleeping on the world's most uncomfortable futon but I can't complain too much because I do have a room to myself - I just miss my own bed and my cats and my flatmates - I had a weird moment the other day where I realized that I'd been out of the family home longer than I'd lived in it (my parents are in the same place they were when I was born) and my parent's place is no longer comfortable or a comfort to me.
I'm just... I wasn't prepared for something to happen to my dad. While he's come out of the surgery well and although still in ICU everything looks positive, I'm still having trouble with it. He also probably should have gotten mum assessed and gotten extra help a while ago (they would have qualified for it in a heartbeat) and we're now having to scramble to see if we can arrange something because he's not going to be able to do much for about six weeks. He'd been stubborn about being 'fine' and would be able to handle everything - even resisting the talks we tried to have with him before surgery about needing help when he's out - my mum didn't help because she kept saying she didn't want 'strangers' in the house - even though she makes friends with everyone she meets and people are instantly her best buddies - she freakin' LOVES new people. I'm just happy that for some reason, the day I was taking him into the hospital, that evaporated for him. He's just got that carer's mentality and if we leave him alone with her he'll try and do stuff and she'll ASK him to do stuff and he'll hurt himself or risk his recovery. The DAY AFTER HIS SURGERY, she had trouble getting out of the chair she'd sat in next to him and he put his arm out to help her. He'd just had his sternum cracked open and he still instinctively put out an arm to help her.
Seriously - he's amazing. She was in hospital with pneumonia about a year and a half ago and he slept at the hospital the whole time - even squished a cot in next to her on a shared ward when they moved her out of a private room because she didn't want to be alone. I'd go in just to give him a break and have to chase him out and he would be saying "I'll be back in an hour" and I'd be like, no, go home and sleep and have a shower and come back when you're ready. He'd be back in a goddamn hour.
Basically - what's happening at the moment is that my dad had to have triple bypass surgery. Being the sole carer for my mother, my sister and I are sharing those duties alongside full time work, kids etc. She doesn't need much help - she just has really awful arthritis and she's in her seventies so the biggest concern is that if she falls over she can't get up and sometimes she has trouble getting out of chairs (she got one of her knees replaced only a few months ago - thankfully it's made a small but NOTICEABLE difference to her mobility and if this had all happened pre-that surgery this would have been far worse) and opening things. My sister is doing day shift and I'm doing nights so I'm sleeping on the world's most uncomfortable futon but I can't complain too much because I do have a room to myself - I just miss my own bed and my cats and my flatmates - I had a weird moment the other day where I realized that I'd been out of the family home longer than I'd lived in it (my parents are in the same place they were when I was born) and my parent's place is no longer comfortable or a comfort to me.
I'm just... I wasn't prepared for something to happen to my dad. While he's come out of the surgery well and although still in ICU everything looks positive, I'm still having trouble with it. He also probably should have gotten mum assessed and gotten extra help a while ago (they would have qualified for it in a heartbeat) and we're now having to scramble to see if we can arrange something because he's not going to be able to do much for about six weeks. He'd been stubborn about being 'fine' and would be able to handle everything - even resisting the talks we tried to have with him before surgery about needing help when he's out - my mum didn't help because she kept saying she didn't want 'strangers' in the house - even though she makes friends with everyone she meets and people are instantly her best buddies - she freakin' LOVES new people. I'm just happy that for some reason, the day I was taking him into the hospital, that evaporated for him. He's just got that carer's mentality and if we leave him alone with her he'll try and do stuff and she'll ASK him to do stuff and he'll hurt himself or risk his recovery. The DAY AFTER HIS SURGERY, she had trouble getting out of the chair she'd sat in next to him and he put his arm out to help her. He'd just had his sternum cracked open and he still instinctively put out an arm to help her.
Seriously - he's amazing. She was in hospital with pneumonia about a year and a half ago and he slept at the hospital the whole time - even squished a cot in next to her on a shared ward when they moved her out of a private room because she didn't want to be alone. I'd go in just to give him a break and have to chase him out and he would be saying "I'll be back in an hour" and I'd be like, no, go home and sleep and have a shower and come back when you're ready. He'd be back in a goddamn hour.